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  • Digg it UP - Rhode Island Divorce Mediation: What Is It, Really?

    Implementing Photo ID Badges For Improved Security
    Photo ID systems have some very good points. They can provide positive identification and it is quite easy to create a system that clearly presents a variety of information quickly and cleanly. They come in a wide variety of costs and capabilities, from simple plastic badges that cost pennies each and with nothing but ink on them to badges costing many dollars with encoded magnetic keys imbedded.Photo ID systems have some weaknesses as well. It is extremely easy for badges to be lost or otherwise get out of control, and it is a constant struggle to ensure that pictures are actually checked instead of glanced at.The first part of the process as someone goes to get a badge is to gather the information. Having the person who will get the badge to fill out a form is the usual procedure. Next, the picture must be taken and the data entered into the database of the system that creates the badge. Then the printer spits out a new badge and the newly authorized person is given the quick class on taking care of the badge.In the specific case of a school, this implies children will be likely to go through the process, which will tend to be more awkward as a result. Ensuring that all personnel to be badged have their paperwork and it is correctly filled out will be more difficult, as will scheduling times for pictures to be taken that will result in minimal disruption. It is also quite possible that lost badges will occur more often.Badges should, at a minimum, show a picture and an identification number. It is highly recommended that the badges show an expiration date and might show a name or other information depending on the requirements and privacy concerns. Badges should be designed to be easy to identify and classify, but difficult to copy.The most common systems have a computer that is physically isolated, that it, it is not part of a network or on the internet. This is to protect the database from compromise. It has a
    yes... yes... I agree. Let's move on.

    In this Rhode Island Divorce mediation setting you can see the interpersonal skills of the Marriage and Family Counselor at work. The mediator tries to work with each party, keeps him or her focused on the issues at hand using excellent personal relationship skills and discusses the various positions without taking the side of either party. Logic and common sense are a part of the dialogue yet he or she does not use legal arguments. The parties are drawn together toward a resolution that each agrees upon that the parties agree will be committed to paper and signed as a resolution of their divorce issues.

    The pros of a third-party divorce mediator with counseling and/or psychological skills but who is not law trained are seen mostly in the method used by the mediator/counselor to bring the parties together by agreeing in part with each of their positions, providing understanding and also redirecting the party to another way of thinking about a situation without taking on the role of being an advocate for the other party.

    The con of using a third-party divorce mediator who is not law trained is the lack of practical family court experience and knowledge of the process. In this particular case, an attorney acting as a mediator for a divorcing couple would be inclined to call to Your attention that alimony in Rhode Island is rehabilitative in nature, may be very limited in time or scope and is also dependent upon Your income and other assets that may be available from the marital estate. This is something a third-party divorce mediator will not usually undertake since the objective of a mediator in this instance is simply to reach an agreeable result and not necessarily achieve a fair result based upon how a Rhode Island family court judge is likely to rule.

    The pros of using a law trained mediator are obviously the cons of the third-party counseling divorce mediator. Law trained mediators (such as lawyers focusing their practice in divorce and family law) bring with them the realistic and practical real world results that come from seeing actual cases before the court. This would seemingly lead to a more equitable result or perhaps a result that is more in accord with a result that you might receive from a Rhode Island Family Court Judge presiding over your divorce. Agreements by law trained mediators are more likely to encompass a whole agreement which is dependent upon each of it's components (i.e. it is a package deal) in order to work as opposed to a bunch of individual elements that are segregated and agreed to one at a time.

    The con of using a Rhode Island law trained mediator (i.e. Rhode Island Family Law Mediator) is the lack of any formalized counseling and/or psychological training which helps to facilitate the atmosphere where the parties are drawn together to reach agreement.

    If at all possible a Rhode Island law trained mediator who is regularly practices before the Rhode Island Divorce and family court system and also has background in counseling and/or psychology is perhaps the best bet both for reaching an agreeme

    Targeting Your Resume is So Important For Your Career
    Targeting your portfolio, (resume and cover letter) can get you any job you desire! The purpose of targeting is so you can find your perfect match, your dream job!To target successfully, you need to calculate the position, do this and you will be sure to hit the mark.When targeting the job you wish to apply for, ask yourself,“Am I responding to this position because I really want to do this job, or am I merely responding because the position is available?” Remember, there are always vacant positions to fill, but finding an open position that you truly want to perform every day, is going to take a more committed search. If you are just responding to classified ads just because they are there, you will never find a job in which you do not have to work. It is like the old adage, “Find a job you love and you will never 'work' another day in your life.”It is also important when targeting your desired employment opportunity that you take some time to build a reputation within the particular field you want to work. You do this by getting to know the 'players'. Let's use this example: Say you want to manage the Italian restaurant down town. Would it be better if you knew the owner? Would your dream of managing this restaurant have a better chance of coming true, if you had eaten at this restaurant several times before and have made yourself known as a friendly, professional and familiar face?If you have taken the time to talk to the proprietor and you've gotten to know the staff, then you have built a reputation. Now, if an opening for a manager at this same restaurant comes up, you will have a much better chance of getting the position than the applicant whose resume does not bring a personality to heart and a face to mind.Remember that the longer you've been in the same field, the more likely you are to be well known. Also, the more you network with professionals from your field, the more opportunities you will have to climb the lad
    Rhode Island Divorce mediation is not a new concept. It may or may not be of benefit to you in your spouse in resolving your divorce issues.

    Divorce mediation typically involves you and your spouse agreeing that you will sit down with a third party as a mediator in an effort to reach an agreement that is acceptable to both spouses for the resolution of the divorce . . . or perhaps better referred to as the settlement of the marriage.

    It remains controversial as to whether the mediator must be an attorney or whether another third-party good at negotiating solutions to family issues is sufficient. From the perspective of a Rhode Island lawyer who focuses his legal practice in the areas of Rhode Island divorce and family law I can see the pros and cons of using either. . . . and they are significant.

    Consider this one example:

    You and your spouse either know or agree that you will get divorced. Your spouse suggests that you can reach an amicable resolution by sitting down with a Rhode Island marriage and family counselor who has had success in helping couples find common ground deciding what to do to finalize their divorce.

    You and your spouse go to this Rhode Island marriage and family counselor. A portion of the mediation session goes like this.

    Counselor: [To Both of You] Now, I know this divorce isn't going to be easy for either of you but you both need to be able to survive and move forward with your lives after this is over, wouldn't you agree.

    Parties: [Both nodding]

    Counselor [to You] : Okay. Now I understand that you've been the main earner in the household, is that right?

    You: Yes, that's correct.

    Counselor [to Your Spouse]: And you work part-time to help out with the expenses when needed but you mainly use the money you make for your own personal spending money, is that right?

    Your Spouse: Yes, that's about right.

    Counselor [to You]: Now you have a college degree, is that right?

    You: Yes

    Your Spouse: And I have my high school diploma.

    Counselor: And how long have you two been married?

    Your Spouse: We've been together for 15 years and married for almost 12 years of that time.

    Counselor: And during that time, who has been making what portion of the income for the most part?

    You: I've made about 80 to 85% of our income.

    Your Spouse: And I've made the remaining part. I think that is a pretty good estimate.

    Counselor: Now in my experience only uncivilized and vindictive people go through a divorce and try to hurt their spouse. I don't think either of you fall into that group because you're here meeting with me today, is that fair to say.

    Both You and Your Spouse: Yes.

    Counselor [To You]: Okay . . . now you understand that your spouse is going to have a much harder time financially to make a go of it without your income, right?

    You: Well, yes.

    Counselor [To You]: And it's no secret that your spouse has been relying on you financially for the past 12 years to survive, right?

    You: I guess so.

    Counselor: Well, here you are getting ready to go through your divorce here in Rhode Island and it's important that we agree regarding the things we're discussing here today so it's important that we are sure about thing that we agree on so it's better if we don't guess. Has your spouse been providing mostly for her own support for the past 12 years?

    You: No.

    Counselor: Has your spouse been relying upon someone else other than herself for her financial needs?

    You: Yes.

    Counselor: Okay, can you give me that person's name and address.

    You: Well, that person is me!

    Counselor: Oh... there isn't anyone else?

    You: Not that I know of.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Well, is there anyone else that you've been relying on for your financial needs?

    Your Spouse: No.

    Counselor [To You]: So is it fair to say that your spouse has been relying on you these past 12 years?

    You: Yes.

    Counselor [To Both of You]: Now you both realize that your divorce is going to change that, right?

    You and Your Spouse: Yes we do.

    Counselor [To Both of You]: And you both realize that your spouse is going to need to survive financially after this divorce, don't you.

    You and Your Spouse: That makes sense.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Now you probably figured out already that you're probably going to have to work on a full-time basis and take care of yourself after this divorce is done. Have you considered that?

    Your Spouse: Yes.

    Counselor [To You]: And you've probably figured out that you're probably going to have to help your spouse financially for a time, right?

    You: What?!?

    Counselor [To You]: Well, your spouse has been relying on you for 12 years. We just talked about that a minute ago, correct?

    You: Yeah. What's your point?

    Counselor [To You]: And you agreed that you both need to be able to survive financially and be able to move on with your lives after this, right?

    You: Yes I did, but. . . [trailing off]

    Counselor [To You]: You didn't expect that you were going to support your spouse for 12 years and then just get a divorce and the family court would just let you walk away did you?

    I mean . . . this is 12 years you've been doing this for your spouse. Doesn't it make sense that the Rhode Island family court is likely to tell you that you'll need to provide some financial support to your spouse for a bit longer so there is time to recover financially?

    You: Well I didn't think I'd have to pay . . .

    Counselor: But it makes sense, doesn't it? You supported your spouse for 12 years or more and you are the one that makes most of the money. Your spouse needs a little bit of time, probably a couple of years, to adjust to this huge change, get new job skills, work up to a full-time job and perhaps develop skills for another job.

    You: Yeah but. . . [thinking]

    Counselor: So you need to be prepared to help out for some period of time, it's only fair isn't it?

    You: I suppose so.

    Counselor: Now you've built up a pretty sizeable retirement account, do I have that down right?

    You: Yes . . . I think it was about $175,000.00 as of the last statement.

    Your Spouse: Let's keep in mind that there's some infidelity here.

    You: Well you drove me to it. If you weren't so cold and distant I wouldn't have had to find someone who cared and could give me what I needed.

    Counselor: Okay . . . let's remember that this isn't to try to resolve all of your personal issues, this divorces mediation session is for us to see what affect all of these things have had on you and how we can work out an agreement for your divorce. The idea is, what can we mutually agree upon so that we can help you move forward with each of your own separate lives after this is all over.

    Your Spouse: But that's what this divorce is all about?

    Counselor: I can completely understand that you feel that way, and if I didn't know better I'd probably agree with you, yet in the end this is all about a relationship that has broken down and can't be fixed. When that happens people go through a legal divorce proceeding. What we're here about today and what you both hired me to do is to try to see if we can reach some common ground to go your separate ways fairly.

    Your Spouse: Well, I want it all.

    You: All of it?

    Your Spouse: I think it's only fair since you cheated on me.

    You: Are you crazy?

    Your Spouse: You should have thought of that before finding another bed to sleep in.

    Counselor: [Interrupting the squabbling] Are we done?

    You and Your Spouse: Done? What are you talking about?

    Counselor: We're done, right? You two just want to hurt each other so we're done, right? I've earned my fee and you can go into court and just scream at each other.

    You and Your Spouse: No... [you] . No. [your spouse].

    Counselor: Then let's look at things here. Is this a fault divorce?

    Your Spouse: No it's not. My attorney says I should file based on irreconcilable differences. But I deserve something.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Well perhaps that's true yet isn't ALL of it a bit much?

    Your Spouse: Not to me.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay... you say that you were cheated on, right?

    Your Spouse: Yes I do.

    You: It's not true though!! [very defensively].

    Counselor: Okay, I'm not going to agree if it's true or not, but assuming it is true just for the sake of argument, how much did this affair... affect the value of the $175,000 retirement plan?

    Your Spouse: How much did it affect the retirement plan?

    Counselor: Yes.

    Your Spouse: It didn't.

    Counselor[To Your Spouse]: It didn't affect the retirement account at all?

    Your Spouse: No.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Then why are you asking for all of it?

    Your Spouse: Because I deserve it!!

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Why?

    Your Spouse: Because of the affair?

    Counselor: So what you are saying is that if you were originally entitled to 1/2 of the retirement account that you are entitled to the other $87,500 because you were cheated on.

    Your Spouse: [Hesitating] Well. . . . yes that's what I'm saying.

    You: I did not cheat on you or have any affair!

    Counselor: [Interrupting again] . . . You're hurt. I understand that. And maybe that is worth something financially . . . yet it just doesn't seem quite reasonable to ask for the whole retirement account when you even say yourself that the affair didn't hurt the retirement account or your part of it. A judge might give you half or a little more but I don't think a judge would give you all of it.

    [Silence as Counselor thinks...]

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Assuming just for the sake of argument that there was an affair and no damage was done to the retirement account as you've already said, what do you think is reasonable to ask a judge for.

    Your Spouse: I don't know. I'm not a judge.

    Counselor: Well what does any affair have to do with all the hard work and deposits that are made into a retirement account if you were to get 1/2 of it right off the bat?

    Your Spouse: Well it doesn't have anything to do with it when you put it that way.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, well we've agreed that you will need some financial help for a bit of time to get on your feet. Keeping that in mind, how much of the retirement plan would you agree to take in order to resolve this issue and get on with your life?

    Your Spouse: 75 percent.

    You: You are kidding me. For an affair I didn't even have?!?

    Counselor [To You]: So that isn't acceptable to you, right?

    You: No! That's robbing me.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, is there a lesser amount that you might consider.

    Your Spouse: Sure. Give me the whole thing and I won't take anything from you to get by until I get on my feet.

    Counselor [To You]: What do you think of that?

    You: [Thinking]

    Your Spouse: Otherwise I'm going to go to court and ask for financial help for the next five (5) years plus 75% of your retirement.

    You: [Frustrated] ..... Fine.

    Counselor [To You]: Fine to what?

    You: [Still Frustrated]: If I don't have to give her any extra financial help then she can have the entire retirement account.

    Counselor [To You]: Are you sure? We're going to set this down in stone so this needs to be firm that you absolutely agree to this.

    You: Yes... yes... yes... I agree. Let's move on.

    In this Rhode Island Divorce mediation setting you can see the interpersonal skills of the Marriage and Family Counselor at work. The mediator tries to work with each party, keeps him or her focused on the issues at hand using excellent personal relationship skills and discusses the various positions without taking the side of either party. Logic and common sense are a part of the dialogue yet he or she does not use legal arguments. The parties are drawn together toward a resolution that each agrees upon that the parties agree will be committed to paper and signed as a resolution of their divorce issues.

    The pros of a third-party divorce mediator with counseling and/or psychological skills but who is not law trained are seen mostly in the method used by the mediator/counselor to bring the parties together by agreeing in part with each of their positions, providing understanding and also redirecting the party to another way of thinking about a situation without taking on the role of being an advocate for the other party.

    The con of using a third-party divorce mediator who is not law trained is the lack of practical family court experience and knowledge of the process. In this particular case, an attorney acting as a mediator for a divorcing couple would be inclined to call to Your attention that alimony in Rhode Island is rehabilitative in nature, may be very limited in time or scope and is also dependent upon Your income and other assets that may be available from the marital estate. This is something a third-party divorce mediator will not usually undertake since the objective of a mediator in this instance is simply to reach an agreeable result and not necessarily achieve a fair result based upon how a Rhode Island family court judge is likely to rule.

    The pros of using a law trained mediator are obviously the cons of the third-party counseling divorce mediator. Law trained mediators (such as lawyers focusing their practice in divorce and family law) bring with them the realistic and practical real world results that come from seeing actual cases before the court. This would seemingly lead to a more equitable result or perhaps a result that is more in accord with a result that you might receive from a Rhode Island Family Court Judge presiding over your divorce. Agreements by law trained mediators are more likely to encompass a whole agreement which is dependent upon each of it's components (i.e. it is a package deal) in order to work as opposed to a bunch of individual elements that are segregated and agreed to one at a time.

    The con of using a Rhode Island law trained mediator (i.e. Rhode Island Family Law Mediator) is the lack of any formalized counseling and/or psychological training which helps to facilitate the atmosphere where the parties are drawn together to reach agreement.

    If at all possible a Rhode Island law trained mediator who is regularly practices before the Rhode Island Divorce and family court system and also has background in counseling and/or psychology is perhaps the best bet both for reaching an agreemen

    If You Are Looking For A Sales and Marketing Job, Market Your Numbers
    If you are a top sales and marketing candidate, then you’ve probably been held accountable for years and years to produce a certain result that was measurable at your previous employers. If this is you, that’s great news! The fact is, when we talk to sales and marketing candidates, we never cease to be amazed by the number of people who really can’t provide us with an empirical or objective record of their achievements. This is a no-no. Why is that? Because if you have been a top producer and you have consistently hit your numbers, you should know what those numbers were, and maintain a record of them over the years that you can produce to prospective employers; particularly to recruiters.One of the first things that we ask candidates to do if they’re salespeople, sales mangers or marketing managers is to tell us what the metrics were in their previous five years of work. That means what were your goals, and second of all how did you achieve against those goals. Top producers are capable of providing this information. People who fudge the numbers typically make excuses so if you don’t have those numbers at hand go get them. Go back through your old job files, your old history logs, your old employee archive or even contact your previous employers if necessary in order to reconstruct a sales or marketing achievement history for yourself that you can provide to prospective employers. This is probably the most important objective measure that people are looking for in this economy and in this job market. Can the person produce? What evidence is there that the person can produce? Well obviously the most important evidence is their track record. It’s not good enough to cite percentage increases in bookings or pipeline in your r?sum? anymore. What people want is the cold, hard numbers. “My quota was this, and I produced that.” Of course employers also want those numbers to be at or above quota. If you’re a candidate, make sure that you are ab
    e has been relying on you financially for the past 12 years to survive, right?

    You: I guess so.

    Counselor: Well, here you are getting ready to go through your divorce here in Rhode Island and it's important that we agree regarding the things we're discussing here today so it's important that we are sure about thing that we agree on so it's better if we don't guess. Has your spouse been providing mostly for her own support for the past 12 years?

    You: No.

    Counselor: Has your spouse been relying upon someone else other than herself for her financial needs?

    You: Yes.

    Counselor: Okay, can you give me that person's name and address.

    You: Well, that person is me!

    Counselor: Oh... there isn't anyone else?

    You: Not that I know of.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Well, is there anyone else that you've been relying on for your financial needs?

    Your Spouse: No.

    Counselor [To You]: So is it fair to say that your spouse has been relying on you these past 12 years?

    You: Yes.

    Counselor [To Both of You]: Now you both realize that your divorce is going to change that, right?

    You and Your Spouse: Yes we do.

    Counselor [To Both of You]: And you both realize that your spouse is going to need to survive financially after this divorce, don't you.

    You and Your Spouse: That makes sense.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Now you probably figured out already that you're probably going to have to work on a full-time basis and take care of yourself after this divorce is done. Have you considered that?

    Your Spouse: Yes.

    Counselor [To You]: And you've probably figured out that you're probably going to have to help your spouse financially for a time, right?

    You: What?!?

    Counselor [To You]: Well, your spouse has been relying on you for 12 years. We just talked about that a minute ago, correct?

    You: Yeah. What's your point?

    Counselor [To You]: And you agreed that you both need to be able to survive financially and be able to move on with your lives after this, right?

    You: Yes I did, but. . . [trailing off]

    Counselor [To You]: You didn't expect that you were going to support your spouse for 12 years and then just get a divorce and the family court would just let you walk away did you?

    I mean . . . this is 12 years you've been doing this for your spouse. Doesn't it make sense that the Rhode Island family court is likely to tell you that you'll need to provide some financial support to your spouse for a bit longer so there is time to recover financially?

    You: Well I didn't think I'd have to pay . . .

    Counselor: But it makes sense, doesn't it? You supported your spouse for 12 years or more and you are the one that makes most of the money. Your spouse needs a little bit of time, probably a couple of years, to adjust to this huge change, get new job skills, work up to a full-time job and perhaps develop skills for another job.

    You: Yeah but. . . [thinking]

    Counselor: So you need to be prepared to help out for some period of time, it's only fair isn't it?

    You: I suppose so.

    Counselor: Now you've built up a pretty sizeable retirement account, do I have that down right?

    You: Yes . . . I think it was about $175,000.00 as of the last statement.

    Your Spouse: Let's keep in mind that there's some infidelity here.

    You: Well you drove me to it. If you weren't so cold and distant I wouldn't have had to find someone who cared and could give me what I needed.

    Counselor: Okay . . . let's remember that this isn't to try to resolve all of your personal issues, this divorces mediation session is for us to see what affect all of these things have had on you and how we can work out an agreement for your divorce. The idea is, what can we mutually agree upon so that we can help you move forward with each of your own separate lives after this is all over.

    Your Spouse: But that's what this divorce is all about?

    Counselor: I can completely understand that you feel that way, and if I didn't know better I'd probably agree with you, yet in the end this is all about a relationship that has broken down and can't be fixed. When that happens people go through a legal divorce proceeding. What we're here about today and what you both hired me to do is to try to see if we can reach some common ground to go your separate ways fairly.

    Your Spouse: Well, I want it all.

    You: All of it?

    Your Spouse: I think it's only fair since you cheated on me.

    You: Are you crazy?

    Your Spouse: You should have thought of that before finding another bed to sleep in.

    Counselor: [Interrupting the squabbling] Are we done?

    You and Your Spouse: Done? What are you talking about?

    Counselor: We're done, right? You two just want to hurt each other so we're done, right? I've earned my fee and you can go into court and just scream at each other.

    You and Your Spouse: No... [you] . No. [your spouse].

    Counselor: Then let's look at things here. Is this a fault divorce?

    Your Spouse: No it's not. My attorney says I should file based on irreconcilable differences. But I deserve something.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Well perhaps that's true yet isn't ALL of it a bit much?

    Your Spouse: Not to me.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay... you say that you were cheated on, right?

    Your Spouse: Yes I do.

    You: It's not true though!! [very defensively].

    Counselor: Okay, I'm not going to agree if it's true or not, but assuming it is true just for the sake of argument, how much did this affair... affect the value of the $175,000 retirement plan?

    Your Spouse: How much did it affect the retirement plan?

    Counselor: Yes.

    Your Spouse: It didn't.

    Counselor[To Your Spouse]: It didn't affect the retirement account at all?

    Your Spouse: No.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Then why are you asking for all of it?

    Your Spouse: Because I deserve it!!

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Why?

    Your Spouse: Because of the affair?

    Counselor: So what you are saying is that if you were originally entitled to 1/2 of the retirement account that you are entitled to the other $87,500 because you were cheated on.

    Your Spouse: [Hesitating] Well. . . . yes that's what I'm saying.

    You: I did not cheat on you or have any affair!

    Counselor: [Interrupting again] . . . You're hurt. I understand that. And maybe that is worth something financially . . . yet it just doesn't seem quite reasonable to ask for the whole retirement account when you even say yourself that the affair didn't hurt the retirement account or your part of it. A judge might give you half or a little more but I don't think a judge would give you all of it.

    [Silence as Counselor thinks...]

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Assuming just for the sake of argument that there was an affair and no damage was done to the retirement account as you've already said, what do you think is reasonable to ask a judge for.

    Your Spouse: I don't know. I'm not a judge.

    Counselor: Well what does any affair have to do with all the hard work and deposits that are made into a retirement account if you were to get 1/2 of it right off the bat?

    Your Spouse: Well it doesn't have anything to do with it when you put it that way.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, well we've agreed that you will need some financial help for a bit of time to get on your feet. Keeping that in mind, how much of the retirement plan would you agree to take in order to resolve this issue and get on with your life?

    Your Spouse: 75 percent.

    You: You are kidding me. For an affair I didn't even have?!?

    Counselor [To You]: So that isn't acceptable to you, right?

    You: No! That's robbing me.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, is there a lesser amount that you might consider.

    Your Spouse: Sure. Give me the whole thing and I won't take anything from you to get by until I get on my feet.

    Counselor [To You]: What do you think of that?

    You: [Thinking]

    Your Spouse: Otherwise I'm going to go to court and ask for financial help for the next five (5) years plus 75% of your retirement.

    You: [Frustrated] ..... Fine.

    Counselor [To You]: Fine to what?

    You: [Still Frustrated]: If I don't have to give her any extra financial help then she can have the entire retirement account.

    Counselor [To You]: Are you sure? We're going to set this down in stone so this needs to be firm that you absolutely agree to this.

    You: Yes... yes... yes... I agree. Let's move on.

    In this Rhode Island Divorce mediation setting you can see the interpersonal skills of the Marriage and Family Counselor at work. The mediator tries to work with each party, keeps him or her focused on the issues at hand using excellent personal relationship skills and discusses the various positions without taking the side of either party. Logic and common sense are a part of the dialogue yet he or she does not use legal arguments. The parties are drawn together toward a resolution that each agrees upon that the parties agree will be committed to paper and signed as a resolution of their divorce issues.

    The pros of a third-party divorce mediator with counseling and/or psychological skills but who is not law trained are seen mostly in the method used by the mediator/counselor to bring the parties together by agreeing in part with each of their positions, providing understanding and also redirecting the party to another way of thinking about a situation without taking on the role of being an advocate for the other party.

    The con of using a third-party divorce mediator who is not law trained is the lack of practical family court experience and knowledge of the process. In this particular case, an attorney acting as a mediator for a divorcing couple would be inclined to call to Your attention that alimony in Rhode Island is rehabilitative in nature, may be very limited in time or scope and is also dependent upon Your income and other assets that may be available from the marital estate. This is something a third-party divorce mediator will not usually undertake since the objective of a mediator in this instance is simply to reach an agreeable result and not necessarily achieve a fair result based upon how a Rhode Island family court judge is likely to rule.

    The pros of using a law trained mediator are obviously the cons of the third-party counseling divorce mediator. Law trained mediators (such as lawyers focusing their practice in divorce and family law) bring with them the realistic and practical real world results that come from seeing actual cases before the court. This would seemingly lead to a more equitable result or perhaps a result that is more in accord with a result that you might receive from a Rhode Island Family Court Judge presiding over your divorce. Agreements by law trained mediators are more likely to encompass a whole agreement which is dependent upon each of it's components (i.e. it is a package deal) in order to work as opposed to a bunch of individual elements that are segregated and agreed to one at a time.

    The con of using a Rhode Island law trained mediator (i.e. Rhode Island Family Law Mediator) is the lack of any formalized counseling and/or psychological training which helps to facilitate the atmosphere where the parties are drawn together to reach agreement.

    If at all possible a Rhode Island law trained mediator who is regularly practices before the Rhode Island Divorce and family court system and also has background in counseling and/or psychology is perhaps the best bet both for reaching an agreeme

    Using Ebooks to Boost Traffic and Sales
    Ebooks are among the most versatile marketing instruments on the Internet and the best part about them is that they can be used to promote: your business, your knowledge, your products, and your website. You could give them away for free or you could sell them on your website, or through affiliates. Ebooks are cheap to produce, easy to advertise and could, in return, transform you into a genuine “guru” of your area of expertise.As with any online business, first thing you need to do is find a niche. Think about it: what are you really good at? Web design? Gardening? Painting? Cooking? Whatever it is, you can sell your knowledge and the best part is that you set the price.No matter what your business is about, a specialty ebook delivers useful information to the users, whether you inform them about new products and services, cutting edge technologies, benefits of a particular product in comparison to others (for example bio food compared to mass production) and so on.You could use ebooks to reward faithful clients, or to motivate them to subscribe to your newsletters. This way you could build up a good opt in email list that will target potential customers. By sending an ebook solely to the people who really want it you enhance your business credibility and differentiate your emails from SPAM.Ebooks have another important advantage: people will come back to you with questions, comments and other type of feedback. Don’t ignore these messages. As a matter of fact, when you give away free products to your visitors, you’ll motivate them to keep coming back to your website. This is how you create a solid relationship with your already existent clients and attract new ones.Ebooks should be well ordered, precise and focused on the topics they are covering. They should be easy to read, and this is the real challenge for the ebook authors: minimum amount of words that will transmit a large amount of information. Although they are usuall
    work up to a full-time job and perhaps develop skills for another job.

    You: Yeah but. . . [thinking]

    Counselor: So you need to be prepared to help out for some period of time, it's only fair isn't it?

    You: I suppose so.

    Counselor: Now you've built up a pretty sizeable retirement account, do I have that down right?

    You: Yes . . . I think it was about $175,000.00 as of the last statement.

    Your Spouse: Let's keep in mind that there's some infidelity here.

    You: Well you drove me to it. If you weren't so cold and distant I wouldn't have had to find someone who cared and could give me what I needed.

    Counselor: Okay . . . let's remember that this isn't to try to resolve all of your personal issues, this divorces mediation session is for us to see what affect all of these things have had on you and how we can work out an agreement for your divorce. The idea is, what can we mutually agree upon so that we can help you move forward with each of your own separate lives after this is all over.

    Your Spouse: But that's what this divorce is all about?

    Counselor: I can completely understand that you feel that way, and if I didn't know better I'd probably agree with you, yet in the end this is all about a relationship that has broken down and can't be fixed. When that happens people go through a legal divorce proceeding. What we're here about today and what you both hired me to do is to try to see if we can reach some common ground to go your separate ways fairly.

    Your Spouse: Well, I want it all.

    You: All of it?

    Your Spouse: I think it's only fair since you cheated on me.

    You: Are you crazy?

    Your Spouse: You should have thought of that before finding another bed to sleep in.

    Counselor: [Interrupting the squabbling] Are we done?

    You and Your Spouse: Done? What are you talking about?

    Counselor: We're done, right? You two just want to hurt each other so we're done, right? I've earned my fee and you can go into court and just scream at each other.

    You and Your Spouse: No... [you] . No. [your spouse].

    Counselor: Then let's look at things here. Is this a fault divorce?

    Your Spouse: No it's not. My attorney says I should file based on irreconcilable differences. But I deserve something.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Well perhaps that's true yet isn't ALL of it a bit much?

    Your Spouse: Not to me.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay... you say that you were cheated on, right?

    Your Spouse: Yes I do.

    You: It's not true though!! [very defensively].

    Counselor: Okay, I'm not going to agree if it's true or not, but assuming it is true just for the sake of argument, how much did this affair... affect the value of the $175,000 retirement plan?

    Your Spouse: How much did it affect the retirement plan?

    Counselor: Yes.

    Your Spouse: It didn't.

    Counselor[To Your Spouse]: It didn't affect the retirement account at all?

    Your Spouse: No.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Then why are you asking for all of it?

    Your Spouse: Because I deserve it!!

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Why?

    Your Spouse: Because of the affair?

    Counselor: So what you are saying is that if you were originally entitled to 1/2 of the retirement account that you are entitled to the other $87,500 because you were cheated on.

    Your Spouse: [Hesitating] Well. . . . yes that's what I'm saying.

    You: I did not cheat on you or have any affair!

    Counselor: [Interrupting again] . . . You're hurt. I understand that. And maybe that is worth something financially . . . yet it just doesn't seem quite reasonable to ask for the whole retirement account when you even say yourself that the affair didn't hurt the retirement account or your part of it. A judge might give you half or a little more but I don't think a judge would give you all of it.

    [Silence as Counselor thinks...]

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Assuming just for the sake of argument that there was an affair and no damage was done to the retirement account as you've already said, what do you think is reasonable to ask a judge for.

    Your Spouse: I don't know. I'm not a judge.

    Counselor: Well what does any affair have to do with all the hard work and deposits that are made into a retirement account if you were to get 1/2 of it right off the bat?

    Your Spouse: Well it doesn't have anything to do with it when you put it that way.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, well we've agreed that you will need some financial help for a bit of time to get on your feet. Keeping that in mind, how much of the retirement plan would you agree to take in order to resolve this issue and get on with your life?

    Your Spouse: 75 percent.

    You: You are kidding me. For an affair I didn't even have?!?

    Counselor [To You]: So that isn't acceptable to you, right?

    You: No! That's robbing me.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, is there a lesser amount that you might consider.

    Your Spouse: Sure. Give me the whole thing and I won't take anything from you to get by until I get on my feet.

    Counselor [To You]: What do you think of that?

    You: [Thinking]

    Your Spouse: Otherwise I'm going to go to court and ask for financial help for the next five (5) years plus 75% of your retirement.

    You: [Frustrated] ..... Fine.

    Counselor [To You]: Fine to what?

    You: [Still Frustrated]: If I don't have to give her any extra financial help then she can have the entire retirement account.

    Counselor [To You]: Are you sure? We're going to set this down in stone so this needs to be firm that you absolutely agree to this.

    You: Yes... yes... yes... I agree. Let's move on.

    In this Rhode Island Divorce mediation setting you can see the interpersonal skills of the Marriage and Family Counselor at work. The mediator tries to work with each party, keeps him or her focused on the issues at hand using excellent personal relationship skills and discusses the various positions without taking the side of either party. Logic and common sense are a part of the dialogue yet he or she does not use legal arguments. The parties are drawn together toward a resolution that each agrees upon that the parties agree will be committed to paper and signed as a resolution of their divorce issues.

    The pros of a third-party divorce mediator with counseling and/or psychological skills but who is not law trained are seen mostly in the method used by the mediator/counselor to bring the parties together by agreeing in part with each of their positions, providing understanding and also redirecting the party to another way of thinking about a situation without taking on the role of being an advocate for the other party.

    The con of using a third-party divorce mediator who is not law trained is the lack of practical family court experience and knowledge of the process. In this particular case, an attorney acting as a mediator for a divorcing couple would be inclined to call to Your attention that alimony in Rhode Island is rehabilitative in nature, may be very limited in time or scope and is also dependent upon Your income and other assets that may be available from the marital estate. This is something a third-party divorce mediator will not usually undertake since the objective of a mediator in this instance is simply to reach an agreeable result and not necessarily achieve a fair result based upon how a Rhode Island family court judge is likely to rule.

    The pros of using a law trained mediator are obviously the cons of the third-party counseling divorce mediator. Law trained mediators (such as lawyers focusing their practice in divorce and family law) bring with them the realistic and practical real world results that come from seeing actual cases before the court. This would seemingly lead to a more equitable result or perhaps a result that is more in accord with a result that you might receive from a Rhode Island Family Court Judge presiding over your divorce. Agreements by law trained mediators are more likely to encompass a whole agreement which is dependent upon each of it's components (i.e. it is a package deal) in order to work as opposed to a bunch of individual elements that are segregated and agreed to one at a time.

    The con of using a Rhode Island law trained mediator (i.e. Rhode Island Family Law Mediator) is the lack of any formalized counseling and/or psychological training which helps to facilitate the atmosphere where the parties are drawn together to reach agreement.

    If at all possible a Rhode Island law trained mediator who is regularly practices before the Rhode Island Divorce and family court system and also has background in counseling and/or psychology is perhaps the best bet both for reaching an agreeme

    The Consequences of Defaulting on an Auto Title Loan
    If you default on an auto title loan you may lose more than just your automobile.If you find yourself unable to pay back your title loan and don't have any money to pay for a rollover your automobile will likely be seized by the lender. With your title used as collateral for the loan, failure to pay off the loan essentially forfeits the title to your automobile. You can then count on someone coming to seize your former automobile within a matter of days - or even hours.All title lenders should have their own specific policies and procedures in writing regarding what will happen to your car if you default on the loan. Some lenders will attempt to seize the car within hours of your default, place the car in storage and later resell the car with all proceeds going to the lender. Some lenders will offer a grace period in which you can try to repay the loan before your automobile is resold. If you can gather up enough money to pay off your loan after your automobile is seized, you'll likely be responsible for paying storage fees and other penalties before you can reclaim it.If your automobile is resold, you may find yourself still owing money if the proceeds from the sale of your car don't fully pay off your loan. You could end up being sued and even have your wages garnished to pay off your loan in a worst case scenario. Losing your automobile can make it difficult, if not impossible, to get to work. You could lose your job and end up in much worse financial condition than before you started. To add insult to injury, you may not even be eligible to receive the extra proceeds if your automobile is sold for more than the cost of your loan.If you ever wind up in a cash crunch, knowing the potential consequences of defaulting on a title loan will help you make a more informed decision as to whether one of these loans is right for you. The choices you make could impact a lot more than your finances.
    r Spouse: It didn't.

    Counselor[To Your Spouse]: It didn't affect the retirement account at all?

    Your Spouse: No.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Then why are you asking for all of it?

    Your Spouse: Because I deserve it!!

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Why?

    Your Spouse: Because of the affair?

    Counselor: So what you are saying is that if you were originally entitled to 1/2 of the retirement account that you are entitled to the other $87,500 because you were cheated on.

    Your Spouse: [Hesitating] Well. . . . yes that's what I'm saying.

    You: I did not cheat on you or have any affair!

    Counselor: [Interrupting again] . . . You're hurt. I understand that. And maybe that is worth something financially . . . yet it just doesn't seem quite reasonable to ask for the whole retirement account when you even say yourself that the affair didn't hurt the retirement account or your part of it. A judge might give you half or a little more but I don't think a judge would give you all of it.

    [Silence as Counselor thinks...]

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Assuming just for the sake of argument that there was an affair and no damage was done to the retirement account as you've already said, what do you think is reasonable to ask a judge for.

    Your Spouse: I don't know. I'm not a judge.

    Counselor: Well what does any affair have to do with all the hard work and deposits that are made into a retirement account if you were to get 1/2 of it right off the bat?

    Your Spouse: Well it doesn't have anything to do with it when you put it that way.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, well we've agreed that you will need some financial help for a bit of time to get on your feet. Keeping that in mind, how much of the retirement plan would you agree to take in order to resolve this issue and get on with your life?

    Your Spouse: 75 percent.

    You: You are kidding me. For an affair I didn't even have?!?

    Counselor [To You]: So that isn't acceptable to you, right?

    You: No! That's robbing me.

    Counselor [To Your Spouse]: Okay, is there a lesser amount that you might consider.

    Your Spouse: Sure. Give me the whole thing and I won't take anything from you to get by until I get on my feet.

    Counselor [To You]: What do you think of that?

    You: [Thinking]

    Your Spouse: Otherwise I'm going to go to court and ask for financial help for the next five (5) years plus 75% of your retirement.

    You: [Frustrated] ..... Fine.

    Counselor [To You]: Fine to what?

    You: [Still Frustrated]: If I don't have to give her any extra financial help then she can have the entire retirement account.

    Counselor [To You]: Are you sure? We're going to set this down in stone so this needs to be firm that you absolutely agree to this.

    You: Yes... yes... yes... I agree. Let's move on.

    In this Rhode Island Divorce mediation setting you can see the interpersonal skills of the Marriage and Family Counselor at work. The mediator tries to work with each party, keeps him or her focused on the issues at hand using excellent personal relationship skills and discusses the various positions without taking the side of either party. Logic and common sense are a part of the dialogue yet he or she does not use legal arguments. The parties are drawn together toward a resolution that each agrees upon that the parties agree will be committed to paper and signed as a resolution of their divorce issues.

    The pros of a third-party divorce mediator with counseling and/or psychological skills but who is not law trained are seen mostly in the method used by the mediator/counselor to bring the parties together by agreeing in part with each of their positions, providing understanding and also redirecting the party to another way of thinking about a situation without taking on the role of being an advocate for the other party.

    The con of using a third-party divorce mediator who is not law trained is the lack of practical family court experience and knowledge of the process. In this particular case, an attorney acting as a mediator for a divorcing couple would be inclined to call to Your attention that alimony in Rhode Island is rehabilitative in nature, may be very limited in time or scope and is also dependent upon Your income and other assets that may be available from the marital estate. This is something a third-party divorce mediator will not usually undertake since the objective of a mediator in this instance is simply to reach an agreeable result and not necessarily achieve a fair result based upon how a Rhode Island family court judge is likely to rule.

    The pros of using a law trained mediator are obviously the cons of the third-party counseling divorce mediator. Law trained mediators (such as lawyers focusing their practice in divorce and family law) bring with them the realistic and practical real world results that come from seeing actual cases before the court. This would seemingly lead to a more equitable result or perhaps a result that is more in accord with a result that you might receive from a Rhode Island Family Court Judge presiding over your divorce. Agreements by law trained mediators are more likely to encompass a whole agreement which is dependent upon each of it's components (i.e. it is a package deal) in order to work as opposed to a bunch of individual elements that are segregated and agreed to one at a time.

    The con of using a Rhode Island law trained mediator (i.e. Rhode Island Family Law Mediator) is the lack of any formalized counseling and/or psychological training which helps to facilitate the atmosphere where the parties are drawn together to reach agreement.

    If at all possible a Rhode Island law trained mediator who is regularly practices before the Rhode Island Divorce and family court system and also has background in counseling and/or psychology is perhaps the best bet both for reaching an agreeme

    Targeted E-Mail Marketing - Easy Guide
    The targeted e-mail marketing, just like any other marketing instruments, showed a potential success on capturing prospective markets. This tool gives a marketing analyst a chance to perceive from a perspective the target market of a product. This gives him the allowance to invest on a potentially strong market rather than vouching on a large market but with little return of prospective market. When a business indulges in such a technique, there are only few rules that the marketing analyst should remember. Remember that the targeted e-mail marketing only gives you a clear view on who may be your clients but are not directly potential to accommodate the product.One should remember that in order to catch a targeted client, he should be enticed first. Getting the attention of the client allows your product to the least be given attention. In order to do this, the e-mail material that you send out to a prospective targeted market should be very catchy and “attention-getter”. By doing this, you are assured that your e-mail material was to the least given time to be noticed and read and eventually capture your client’s desire to buy your product.Along with a catchy subject line is a content that is carefully thought and professionally written. Remember that the impression of the consumer to the product relies heavily on how you market it. With e-mail marketing, there is no visible or any tangible thing yet that the consumer has about it; therefore, your e-mail tool says a lot of things about it. Therefore, the content of the e-mail material should be equally powerful to that of your subject line. Remember that a grammatically and syntactically incorrect e-mail will never catch a prospective consumer.
    yes... yes... I agree. Let's move on.

    In this Rhode Island Divorce mediation setting you can see the interpersonal skills of the Marriage and Family Counselor at work. The mediator tries to work with each party, keeps him or her focused on the issues at hand using excellent personal relationship skills and discusses the various positions without taking the side of either party. Logic and common sense are a part of the dialogue yet he or she does not use legal arguments. The parties are drawn together toward a resolution that each agrees upon that the parties agree will be committed to paper and signed as a resolution of their divorce issues.

    The pros of a third-party divorce mediator with counseling and/or psychological skills but who is not law trained are seen mostly in the method used by the mediator/counselor to bring the parties together by agreeing in part with each of their positions, providing understanding and also redirecting the party to another way of thinking about a situation without taking on the role of being an advocate for the other party.

    The con of using a third-party divorce mediator who is not law trained is the lack of practical family court experience and knowledge of the process. In this particular case, an attorney acting as a mediator for a divorcing couple would be inclined to call to Your attention that alimony in Rhode Island is rehabilitative in nature, may be very limited in time or scope and is also dependent upon Your income and other assets that may be available from the marital estate. This is something a third-party divorce mediator will not usually undertake since the objective of a mediator in this instance is simply to reach an agreeable result and not necessarily achieve a fair result based upon how a Rhode Island family court judge is likely to rule.

    The pros of using a law trained mediator are obviously the cons of the third-party counseling divorce mediator. Law trained mediators (such as lawyers focusing their practice in divorce and family law) bring with them the realistic and practical real world results that come from seeing actual cases before the court. This would seemingly lead to a more equitable result or perhaps a result that is more in accord with a result that you might receive from a Rhode Island Family Court Judge presiding over your divorce. Agreements by law trained mediators are more likely to encompass a whole agreement which is dependent upon each of it's components (i.e. it is a package deal) in order to work as opposed to a bunch of individual elements that are segregated and agreed to one at a time.

    The con of using a Rhode Island law trained mediator (i.e. Rhode Island Family Law Mediator) is the lack of any formalized counseling and/or psychological training which helps to facilitate the atmosphere where the parties are drawn together to reach agreement.

    If at all possible a Rhode Island law trained mediator who is regularly practices before the Rhode Island Divorce and family court system and also has background in counseling and/or psychology is perhaps the best bet both for reaching an agreement generally and in particular for reaching an agreement that is an accordance what a Rhode Island Family Court judge is likely to order.

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