riority with empathy. If the customer says, “I’ve been doing business with your bank for five years,” don’t say, “I’ve been working here for ten!” Say, “And we appreciate your business, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.”

(4) If a customer insists on controlling the call, let her do it

There is a great scene in the movie, “Tombstone,” when the Earp brothers with Doc Holliday are facing the outlaws.

Fingers on triggers, eyes riveted, one of the bad guys twitches, and the next thing you hear is an Earp boy lamenting, “Oh, no!”

He realizes, at that split second, that Hell is going to break loose, and nothing can stop it.

Conflicts with customers escalate in the same way. Each party ratchets up the hostilities until a point of no return is reached, and everyone and everything around is scorched.

CSR’s and every customer-facing associate should receive de-escalation training to avoid catastrophes of this type.

When you play back recordings of such painful encounters, there are almost always opportunities to back down, to smooth things over. Here are several tips you can use right away:

(1) Few customers fly off the handle without tipping you off, first. Listen for an elevation of their voices. If they respond this way, do not match their higher tones. Lower yours, instead. This will say you’re not rising to the bait.

(2) Ignore profanity, and whatever you do, don’t respond with: “You can’t swear at me! I don’t have to take that!”

(3) Counter superiority with empathy. If the customer says, “I’ve been doing business with your bank for five years,” don’t say, “I’ve been working here for ten!” Say, “And we appreciate your business, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.”

(4) If a customer insists on controlling the call, let her do it.

ing to break loose, and nothing can stop it.

Conflicts with customers escalate in the same way. Each party ratchets up the hostilities until a point of no return is reached, and everyone and everything around is scorched.

CSR’s and every customer-facing associate should receive de-escalation training to avoid catastrophes of this type.

When you play back recordings of such painful encounters, there are almost always opportunities to back down, to smooth things over. Here are several tips you can use right away:

(1) Few customers fly off the handle without tipping you off, first. Listen for an elevation of their voices. If they respond this way, do not match their higher tones. Lower yours, instead. This will say you’re not rising to the bait.

(2) Ignore profanity, and whatever you do, don’t respond with: “You can’t swear at me! I don’t have to take that!”

(3) Counter superiority with empathy. If the customer says, “I’ve been doing business with your bank for five years,” don’t say, “I’ve been working here for ten!” Say, “And we appreciate your business, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.”

(4) If a customer insists on controlling the call, let her do it

aining to avoid catastrophes of this type.

When you play back recordings of such painful encounters, there are almost always opportunities to back down, to smooth things over. Here are several tips you can use right away:

(1) Few customers fly off the handle without tipping you off, first. Listen for an elevation of their voices. If they respond this way, do not match their higher tones. Lower yours, instead. This will say you’re not rising to the bait.

(2) Ignore profanity, and whatever you do, don’t respond with: “You can’t swear at me! I don’t have to take that!”

(3) Counter superiority with empathy. If the customer says, “I’ve been doing business with your bank for five years,” don’t say, “I’ve been working here for ten!” Say, “And we appreciate your business, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.”

(4) If a customer insists on controlling the call, let her do it

ten for an elevation of their voices. If they respond this way, do not match their higher tones. Lower yours, instead. This will say you’re not rising to the bait.

(2) Ignore profanity, and whatever you do, don’t respond with: “You can’t swear at me! I don’t have to take that!”

(3) Counter superiority with empathy. If the customer says, “I’ve been doing business with your bank for five years,” don’t say, “I’ve been working here for ten!” Say, “And we appreciate your business, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.”

(4) If a customer insists on controlling the call, let her do it

riority with empathy. If the customer says, “I’ve been doing business with your bank for five years,” don’t say, “I’ve been working here for ten!” Say, “And we appreciate your business, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.”

(4) If a customer insists on controlling the call, let her do it. Don’t interrupt if she goes on a tear or a talkathon. If you interrupt, you’ll be trying to control, control, with control, and that gets out of control, fast!

(5) Realize this is about a problem, and not about you. Don’t become the problem. So, remain solution oriented. Try saying, “Let’s see where we can go from here!” instead of, “You did or didn’t do X, and you shouldn’t have done that!”

(6) Keep thinking, “Everything is going to be okay,” and put that tone into your voice. It will instill confidence in the customer, and encourage him to relax.

(7) If you’re about to lose it, take a deep breath and say, “I’d like to see what else I can do for you. May I ask you to hold for a quick second? Thanks.” This will give you time to calm yourself, and if you sense you’re going to damage the conversation, turn the call over to someone else. Knowing when you’re not effective is a mark of maturity, not weakness or incompetence.

Implement these seven tips during your showdowns with customers. You’ll all be more likely to walk away intact!