on (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, in a relationship we start by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with ou

STAY CLOSE, MY HEART

Stay close, my heart, to the one who knows your ways; Come into the shade of the tree that allays has fresh flowers. Don't stroll idly through the bazaar of the perfume-markers: Stay in the shop of the sugar-seller. If you don't find true balance, anyone can deceive you; Anyone can trick out of a thing of straw, And make you take it for gold Don't squat with a bowl before every boiling pot; In each pot on the fire you find very different things. Not all sugarcanes have sugar, not all abysses a peak; Not all eyes possess vision, not every sea is full of pearls. O nightingale, with your voice of dark honey! Go on lamenting! Only your drunken ecstasy can pierce the rock's hard heart! Surrender yourself, and if you cannot be welcomes by the Friend, Know that you are rebelling inwardly like a thread That doesn't want to go through the needle's eye! The awakened heart is a lamp; protect it by the him of your robe! Hurry and get out of this wind, for the weather is bad. And when you've left this storm, you will come to a fountain; You'll find a Friend there who will always nourish your soul. And with your soul always green, you'll grow into a tall tree Flowering always with sweet light-fruit, whose growth is interior.

RUMI

Ego is the shell surrounding the real you, and sometimes that shell is made of such steel it can’t be moved with dynamite. The shell is made from “should be this and shouldn’t be that” and “be like this and be like that”. The shell is made from other people’s opinions, our opinions, and institutional opinions. They are our most valued commodities because we feel we are someone when we give or have them. They are the cheapest things on earth, everyone gives them for free, yet, they are the most expensive because the price we pay for valuing them, is a broken hearted love.

Righteousness is the shell made of steel, the ego, fighting to be in control, “I’m right and the world got it wrong”. I saw one American Evangelist say that 5.5 billion people in the world got it wrong, and his God was right. How could a person be so stupid? Yet, this is the way we approach life. We want to be right and anything outside of that is wrong and evil. With righteousness, people are embarrassed at their own deceptions, their inability to be authentic. It is humiliating to be so close to someone, that all the preaching is revealed to be a mask. You get exposed because your lover gets behind the mask after some weeks or years, they really see you, and people would rather be single, act with violence or blame than break that shell, be exposed. So they move to a relationship where they are really not exposed for their inauthentic love, another city, another relationship, another argument, another workshop, another book, another religion, another yoga school, another career, another guru, rather than be open, in love with authenticity.

We want love. We ache for sacred and loving relationships. We want the depth of a soul mate, a relationship that lasts forever, but would rather project our ego onto everyone else than change or expand it. The whole issue of emotion comes to this.

All emotion is only half the truth, an illusion; a complete lie. Life is balanced, we distort it by projecting out opinion onto it. We interpret it with our ego and spin it left or right and therefore emotionalise it. By emotionalising things, we can make it safe. And from a love aspect, then we see where we are – out of integrity – and could bring our ego back to balance, if we chose to.

This is everyday reality. While the ego is always going to go through this emotional drama and try to work out left from right, we must be willing to prioritise love over emotion. If you can admit that your emotions are just your emotions, then there is a chance to make tomorrow better than today. Grow. Then, your judgments, expectations and blame games (including religious and philosophical beliefs) can become a treasure of material to help you grow your ego, expand your love. You can simply prioritise love, trust love and then process the emotion. They are compatible.

To quote the bible, “as above so below”, the bigger your ego (the more of life it can see without judgment) the more love you can have. We simply take each blockage to love, find the balance in it, and move it to love. We expand our expectations to include real life, rather than exclude things.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, in a relationship we start by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with our

wering always with sweet light-fruit, whose growth is interior.

RUMI

Ego is the shell surrounding the real you, and sometimes that shell is made of such steel it can’t be moved with dynamite. The shell is made from “should be this and shouldn’t be that” and “be like this and be like that”. The shell is made from other people’s opinions, our opinions, and institutional opinions. They are our most valued commodities because we feel we are someone when we give or have them. They are the cheapest things on earth, everyone gives them for free, yet, they are the most expensive because the price we pay for valuing them, is a broken hearted love.

Righteousness is the shell made of steel, the ego, fighting to be in control, “I’m right and the world got it wrong”. I saw one American Evangelist say that 5.5 billion people in the world got it wrong, and his God was right. How could a person be so stupid? Yet, this is the way we approach life. We want to be right and anything outside of that is wrong and evil. With righteousness, people are embarrassed at their own deceptions, their inability to be authentic. It is humiliating to be so close to someone, that all the preaching is revealed to be a mask. You get exposed because your lover gets behind the mask after some weeks or years, they really see you, and people would rather be single, act with violence or blame than break that shell, be exposed. So they move to a relationship where they are really not exposed for their inauthentic love, another city, another relationship, another argument, another workshop, another book, another religion, another yoga school, another career, another guru, rather than be open, in love with authenticity.

We want love. We ache for sacred and loving relationships. We want the depth of a soul mate, a relationship that lasts forever, but would rather project our ego onto everyone else than change or expand it. The whole issue of emotion comes to this.

All emotion is only half the truth, an illusion; a complete lie. Life is balanced, we distort it by projecting out opinion onto it. We interpret it with our ego and spin it left or right and therefore emotionalise it. By emotionalising things, we can make it safe. And from a love aspect, then we see where we are – out of integrity – and could bring our ego back to balance, if we chose to.

This is everyday reality. While the ego is always going to go through this emotional drama and try to work out left from right, we must be willing to prioritise love over emotion. If you can admit that your emotions are just your emotions, then there is a chance to make tomorrow better than today. Grow. Then, your judgments, expectations and blame games (including religious and philosophical beliefs) can become a treasure of material to help you grow your ego, expand your love. You can simply prioritise love, trust love and then process the emotion. They are compatible.

To quote the bible, “as above so below”, the bigger your ego (the more of life it can see without judgment) the more love you can have. We simply take each blockage to love, find the balance in it, and move it to love. We expand our expectations to include real life, rather than exclude things.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, in a relationship we start by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with ou

be a mask. You get exposed because your lover gets behind the mask after some weeks or years, they really see you, and people would rather be single, act with violence or blame than break that shell, be exposed. So they move to a relationship where they are really not exposed for their inauthentic love, another city, another relationship, another argument, another workshop, another book, another religion, another yoga school, another career, another guru, rather than be open, in love with authenticity.

We want love. We ache for sacred and loving relationships. We want the depth of a soul mate, a relationship that lasts forever, but would rather project our ego onto everyone else than change or expand it. The whole issue of emotion comes to this.

All emotion is only half the truth, an illusion; a complete lie. Life is balanced, we distort it by projecting out opinion onto it. We interpret it with our ego and spin it left or right and therefore emotionalise it. By emotionalising things, we can make it safe. And from a love aspect, then we see where we are – out of integrity – and could bring our ego back to balance, if we chose to.

This is everyday reality. While the ego is always going to go through this emotional drama and try to work out left from right, we must be willing to prioritise love over emotion. If you can admit that your emotions are just your emotions, then there is a chance to make tomorrow better than today. Grow. Then, your judgments, expectations and blame games (including religious and philosophical beliefs) can become a treasure of material to help you grow your ego, expand your love. You can simply prioritise love, trust love and then process the emotion. They are compatible.

To quote the bible, “as above so below”, the bigger your ego (the more of life it can see without judgment) the more love you can have. We simply take each blockage to love, find the balance in it, and move it to love. We expand our expectations to include real life, rather than exclude things.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, in a relationship we start by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with ou

going to go through this emotional drama and try to work out left from right, we must be willing to prioritise love over emotion. If you can admit that your emotions are just your emotions, then there is a chance to make tomorrow better than today. Grow. Then, your judgments, expectations and blame games (including religious and philosophical beliefs) can become a treasure of material to help you grow your ego, expand your love. You can simply prioritise love, trust love and then process the emotion. They are compatible.

To quote the bible, “as above so below”, the bigger your ego (the more of life it can see without judgment) the more love you can have. We simply take each blockage to love, find the balance in it, and move it to love. We expand our expectations to include real life, rather than exclude things.

This is all very obvious when I take people trekking in the Himalayas of Nepal. They bring their way of thinking from back home, and try to apply it to walking up the side of steep hills. Their emotions take charge and at the bottom of the hill, they are enthusiastic, infatuated, brimming with excitement. But the hill is so long, that excitement turns to disbelief and frustration (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, in a relationship we start by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with ou

on (the honeymoon is over). So, about 1 hour into the climb, the ego, being dualistic, swings to the other side, and our emotions “go downward”, to balance the “upward emotion” of the first hour. People start to complain about the whole stupid hill, the boots hurt, legs ache. When the ego goes into emotional resentment it uses blame so that it doesn’t feel stupid, and after 10 minutes blaming the bad path, the steep hill, neither of which really cares, they blame me.

Gradually the swings of emotion get shorter, from 1 hour down to 1 minute. An internal war begins, “Yes I can do it to -- no I can’t make it” and finally, every step, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.” The brain is going mad, swinging, and just when it is ready to surrender, something else comes over them. The ego gives up and the emotions fall away. That ego which drives us in city life is just no use here, and we get a sense of spirit, our second wind.

Similarly, in a relationship we start by committing to climb this magnificent journey together. We jump in, full of tingles and bubbles, phone calls and emails, poems and flowers. Then we begin to close down. Emotions become more challenging than we thought, so we fight with our ego to change things, everything. Maybe after that, through all the emotional uppers and downers (often peaks at 7 years) we can get back to real love. Our second wind in relationships, and walk together up the hill. That’s a little disappointing, because we have the idea that there will be no challenge.

For everything in life there is a cost. If we aren’t willing to grow in relationship, to remain a child, then we are going to end up running around having affairs or living a loveless life. The ego fights, but we need to say “I love you” and “Even though this is not comfortable right now, I can grow through this challenge” This is a sacred relationship. You don’t run, you grow and take the bull by the horns. Even if they leave, you never stop loving them as a person.

It doesn’t have to take 7 years or 7 minutes. If you are ready to grow through emotions, you are ready to love.