Digg it UP - Relationships

A Subtle Thought Can Result In Revolutionary Change
From time to time a subtle notion will fleetingly pass through our mind not unlike a gentle breeze softly billowing a cotton drape momentarily before the drape settles back into its original place. The notion is such a brief and passing experience that we more often than not ignore it or discard it altogether.Yet what if we took a moment to examine our fleeting notions? Likely, if we looked, we would find that the momentary notion was actually a deep-seated yet ignored desire. Perhaps the reason we discard our desire so quickly, therefore lending it the definition “fleeting” is that our own belief system has convinced us that our fleeting desires are impossible to achieve.One of the most common fleeting desires that many of us experience is that for personal freedom. The definition of personal freedom is unique to each of us. Yet, in general terms, personal freedom revolves around the issues of time and money.It is the commonly held presumption among the vast majority of us, that we must rely on external employers for money and in turn we sacrifice our individual time.A lack of confidence in our capacity to create abundance independently stifles our creativity, causes us to “sell” our talents to an employer and hand our time over to external circumstances that come to control our lives.What if instead, we seized upon th

ld answer for consequences of his drunkenness himself in full measure – as a result, a wish to quit drinking may appear in him.

- Members of a family often try to help an alcoholic to get out of various situations, connected with misuse of alcohol. It is important to quit all such actions of life-saving immediately, so that an alcoholic would answer for consequences of his drunkenness himself in full measure – as a result, a wish to quit drinking may appear in him.

- Search support for yourself. No matter whether an alcoholic agrees to treatment or not, other people’s support will be helpful for you, and also help of professionals, investigating this problem. Group training will help you to realize that you are not responsible for your partner’s actions, and that you need to take care of yourself, regardless of agreement of disagreement of alcoholic to treatment.

Balancing Your Family and Home-Based Business
If you own a home-based business, you may have found that you are spending more time working and less time with your family, the reason you started a home-based business in the first place. So how does one find balance when trying to juggle a family and a business?You can successfully balance your home and business but first you have to realize what you can and cannot do. Then you need to organize yourself so that you complete your daily tasks more efficiently. The key to finding balance is by first controlling your time.The first step is to get organized. When you begin each day knowing what you need to accomplish and how you are going to do it, you will get more accomplished without excess stress.A schedule is crucial to your success at work, but even more necessary if you expect to have any time left for family obligations.Realize that you cannot do everything in one day, and when it is time to quit, leave your desk and give your family time the same importance as your work. While you cannot schedule family time as specifically as you can business matters, you can have a time that you quit work and stick too it. All the pressing business matters and unfinished projects can wait until the next workday. You will find that when you make a schedule for each and every day, you will have fewer unfinished business matters at the en

“I love a person, addicted to alcohol. When he is sober – this is a wonderful lover, husband, father, partner. A question of treatment is no longer relevant, we discussed it lots of times. He is a doctor himself – it is impossible to persuade him or cure, we tried. Should I keep relations or it is better to quit them, until it is not too late? Recurring drunkenness, fear for myself and child, shame, and everything good we have, I wrote about before. Who faced this problem and which decision was made?”

Life with alcoholic is like a love triangle – you, he, and his addiction. Your partner’s dangerous habit assimilates his time, forces and attention. He cannot belong to you, as he is not free.

Alcoholic is not necessarily a man, who is wandering around staggering with a bottle and gets drunk till he loses consciousness. If he does not drink since morning till evening, this does not mean he is not alcohol addicted. Alcoholic – is the one who cannot live without alcohol. Of course, a bottle of beer does not make him an alcoholic, if he drinks it on a day off. But several bottles of beer every day after work – this is alcoholism already. It is very difficult to discover sings of this disease on the first stage. Everything usually starts with controlled drunkenness: on every party, presentation, banquet, supper with clients, or at home, “to relax”. Unfortunately, everyone, who takes alcoholic drinks systematically in a company, runs a risk to become an alcoholic. And people, predisposed to alcoholism, pass through this stage very quickly.

Majority of alcoholics refuse their addiction categorically. Because admitting it - means agreeing with the fact that you are helpless, that you live in a constant nightmare and come-down. The most terrible thing in alcoholism is that it deprives a person of a wish to get rid of this bad habit, restricts his ability to feel and share. A person becomes unable to emotional closeness.

If you love an alcoholic, be ready, that following things will appear in your mutual life:

- galvanic and inconsistent behavior;
- fits of fury and violence;
- prolonged periods of depression;
- irresponsibility;
- emotional deafness and coldness;
- lowered sexual activity;
- scuffles and scandals;
- constant irritability;
- instability of relations.

If you are married to alcoholic, do not close your eyes on this problem. Your partner is seriously ill, he needs professional help. This may seem too sharp, but any professional will tell you that patience, understanding and love cannot cure a one from alcoholism. Continuing to be loving and understanding, you indulge his addiction. Judge yourself: he keeps on drinking, changes nothing in his behavior, and you are always near, solve his problems, read to understand, forgive. Why should he change his habits? Shall he exert himself if everything goes the same way, no matter what he does?

Your partner just does not think about it. Moreover, he will refuse his illness. Or he will say he is not ready yet, that it is not so easy, that he needs to wait an appropriate moment and so on. All this is an excuse – “a complex of denial”.

It is very difficult to come out of such relations. You may feel you’re a traitor, delivering a serious blow to your partner. A subconscious sense of guilt may prevent you from breaking these relations, even when your life with him turns to be a hell.

Presence of children in family can complicate the situation even more. Parents, from whom a child is dependent, are too weak to protect him. In fact, such family often is a source of threat and harm for a child, not a source of protection and safety. When parents quarrel with each other or struggle with their problems, they have no time for children. As a result, a child is thirsting for love, not knowing whether he should trust this feeling, and in fact considering himself unworthy of love.

Experience, gained in such family, has a destructive impact on a personality, that is why those who have such experience are trying to become strong through helping other people. They need ones, whom they can help, to feel themselves in safety. Only this way they can feel themselves necessary. This way the circle is locked. A child, who grew in a family with an alcoholic, often chooses a similar partner for himself, or becomes an alcoholic himself.

Normal love relationships are possible only when a person recovers and gets rid of his harmful addiction. Until he is not free, he will not be able to give you what you need. At least, love yourself – leave this person, until the situation becomes worse.

What to do?

- Quit playing a role of a “savior”. Members of a family often try to help an alcoholic to get out of various situations, connected with misuse of alcohol. It is important to quit all such actions of life-saving immediately, so that an alcoholic would answer for consequences of his drunkenness himself in full measure – as a result, a wish to quit drinking may appear in him.

- Tell you partner that you refuse from living with him. Explain him that you will be with him only under one clause – if he applies for help immediately. Be ready to fulfill your threat. If a partner does not start actions immediately, break with him for keeps. Do not come back until he recovers completely, until his behavior changes radically. Marketing Hates Creativity
To any serious entrepreneurs, I ask following question:What do you think of those big flashy and funny ads you see during the superbowl?If you're like most people, you'd probably say "I think they're funny". Maybe you'd say they're ridiculous...I don't know.But here's something I do know:As far as generating sales goes...these "million dollar" works of "art" are good at only one thing...Burning Money!Sure, they might create a surge of "Brand Awareness". And that might be good for a huge fortune 500 company.But for the solo-infopreneur, for the guy (or gal) that needs every dollar spent to come back TEN-FOLD, these dazzling, far fetched commercial escapades are the last thing you want to rely on for sales.You see, name, the vast majority of commercials you see on TV utilize a type of advertising that "us" direct-response guys like to call "Freudian Advertising".This is the type of advertising that concerns itself with peoples perceptions, or how somebody "feels" about a certain companyIt's soft of like these companies are saying "we're so cool!", and "aren't we clever?".Well guess what?Being clever doesn't sell things.Being creative DOESN'T sell things.You know what does?Understanding your market on such an intimate level, that you can craft a kil

If you love an alcoholic, be ready, that following things will appear in your mutual life:

- Be ready to help. Collect information on various methods of treatment beforehand. If an alcoholic agrees to treatment, offer him to go to the first visit to a doctor together. However, here it is important not to take responsibility on yourself, otherwise, everything will go the same way. A partner should understand that everything depends only on him.

There are several reasons, according to which people are inclined to keep on such relations. Moreover, often a woman, who parted one alcoholic, finds another one some time later…

Life with alcoholic is like a daily road trip. Raises and slumps, surprises, maneuvers, abruptness and instability of relationships cause constant shaking of a nervous system. If a serious trauma takes place, then the next day a person may feel a certain emotional raise. This happens because a body sense shock, and adrenalin is thrown to blood in extremely big quantities. It is adrenalin that causes euphoria. If you are struggling with depression, then you are unconsciously searching for situations, keeping you in excited state. If you grew in a family of alcoholics, then your depression, most likely, has 2 reasons: your past and your genetic inheritance. Excitement of relations with a person, suffering from such disease, may attract you a lot.

You want to feel your own superiority, magnitude. When you have got near your partner, whose life is chaotic, you start feeling better, more intelligent, more efficient. Playing a role of a hero, you close your eyes on your disadvantages, your own weakness. Chumming in with people, whose problems require solution, or getting to chaotic, uncertain and emotionally disadvantage situations, you avoid thoughts of responsibility for your own life. Going deep into dramatic problems, you refuse from looking inside of yourself and making wise decisions concerning important aspects of your life.

You need to command. When you get to a situation, when you need to save your partner, you gain huge power over him. This is one of the most efficient methods of manipulation over people. Unconsciously such person is guided by fear of loneliness and unfaithfulness, thus he provides his safety, taking key positions. You need a partner, who needs to be rescued all the time – only this way you can feel you are competent and protected. You use your partner in your own way, not less then he uses you.

You use your relationships like a narcotic, avoiding the feelings, you would have to feel in loneliness. The more agonizing your communication with a man becomes, the stronger it distracts you from reality. The most terrible relations serve the same reason, as a very string narcotic does for a complete drug addict. But you become unsociable without a partner, whom you can accentuate your attention on.

You invent an image of an ideal partner and live in your world of fancies. In this world a partner, whom you are unhappy with, turns to be your dream man, but only with your help. You concentrate not on a real man, but on your fancy about how good he could be and you are ready to do everything in your power for this. It seems to you that a happy moment will come in a little. But a person can change himself only if he wishes this himself.

If you are attracted to people, suffering from serious problems, ask yourself: whether I mix up compassion with love? Whether I am inclined to co-dependence? A key word in people’s relations is respect. You should not only love your partner, but also respect him, be proud of him. Take your time to decide what you want from love relations, and then make a decisive step towards yourself.

If life drives you into a corner and you do not know how to find a way out of the situation – tell about your problems in our blog or forum. Our psychologist-consultant and readers will value the situation from their direction, tell their opinion and suggest ways of their solution.

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When you close a sale, finish a job or complete a project, don't just wait around for 'the next time'. Initiate the conversation for improvement. Your discussion will lead to better relationships, understanding and results.

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Through writing I can convey my entire experience so that someone else can benefit from it and learn from that experience without having had to be there. So, by writing I can give others much more than I can in person. In addition, writing bends time and I can convey my experience to someone centuries away.

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