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Digg it UP - Ten Tips for Coping with People Who Go Silent
These are real builder questions that I got from readers of my e-book, "Residential Development Made Easy" with answers from a major USA Master Builder operating in 48 States.Question 1.My wife and I are planning a new home. We intend approaching a builder or two in this area, and I plan on asking them these questions.My wife is very adept at planning and researching. Under what circumstances do yo
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed yo
When you need to take legal recourse for any personal or business matter the only choice is not that of hiring an expensive lawyer. If you have determination, grit, knowledge, and the willingness to tackle matters yourself then you can represent yourself. This self representation is called “Pro Se” which is Latin for “self.”In a court of law every citizen has the right to represent himself irrespective of whether he is
Silence can occur when a person does not feel it is safe to speak out. Create an environment that invites participation and in which people feel comfortable to talk. An environment where people can talk, be listened to and understood - free of judgement, accusation, blame, belittling, derision or sarcasm. This may reduce the times they need to go silent.
2. Prevent silence by LISTENING and not jumping in:
Pause before responding and then respond by feeding back what you have understood. Listen rather than offering advice, solving the problem for them, intellectualising, ridiculing, disagreeing, pacifying, relating similar stories ... and so on. Simply be there with them. This will make it feel safer so silence is not necessary.
3. When you are getting along talk about what happens:
When you are getting along talk about the silences that occur. Work out two strategies. Firstly, what you can do to help to stop silence from happening and secondly, ways that help dissolve silence when it does happen.
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed you
Okay, so you are interested in writing something, anything, but don't know where to begin. For example, you're not sure whether you should know something about a given subject or not.According to Bob Bly, you should specialize after you've had some things published and gained some recognition as a writer. This is probably excellent advice if you are interested in a few things and are unable to decide which of those things
2. Prevent silence by LISTENING and not jumping in:
Pause before responding and then respond by feeding back what you have understood. Listen rather than offering advice, solving the problem for them, intellectualising, ridiculing, disagreeing, pacifying, relating similar stories ... and so on. Simply be there with them. This will make it feel safer so silence is not necessary.
3. When you are getting along talk about what happens:
When you are getting along talk about the silences that occur. Work out two strategies. Firstly, what you can do to help to stop silence from happening and secondly, ways that help dissolve silence when it does happen.
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed yo
If you’re working in corporate America today, you’re being asked to do more with less. The economic downturn of the late 1990’s, outsourcing of jobs, and the implosion of whole sectors—all of these factors have contributed to a business environment that is fiercely competitive.Nowhere does this nerve wracking and high velocity approach show up more than in the modus operandi of many bosses.Learning how to function
3. When you are getting along talk about what happens:
When you are getting along talk about the silences that occur. Work out two strategies. Firstly, what you can do to help to stop silence from happening and secondly, ways that help dissolve silence when it does happen.
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed yo
Your Website visitor reports are a goldmine of information. If you don't review these on a regular basis, you can't fully evaluate the return on your Web investment. And, you could miss critical clues as to how user-friendly your site is, how effectively your message reaches your visitors, and what unmet needs they may have. But the reports can be overwhelming - a confusing mass of graphs, numbers and URL's. How can y
3. When you are getting along talk about what happens:
When you are getting along talk about the silences that occur. Work out two strategies. Firstly, what you can do to help to stop silence from happening and secondly, ways that help dissolve silence when it does happen.
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed yo
A Christian does not get faith by himself. The LORD GOD decides how much faith a person will have, and deals it to each man accordingly.His measure is focused on six areas to determine your ability to...1) Be a living sacrifice 2) Be holy 3) Be acceptable of God 4) Be non-conforming to this world 5) Be able to transform yourself by the renewing of your mind 6) Be able to pro
4. When someone is silent gently comment on what you've noticed:
Gently mention the silence. Without judgement or complaint comment on what you've noticed. For example, "I've noticed you are quiet at the moment, how are you feeling?" rather than a challenging question, "So what's wrong with you?"
5. Ask: "how can I help", or "what do you need?"
Don't assume you know what silent people need, ask them. Ask the person how you can help or what he or she needs. For example, don't automatically assume they want an arm around their shoulders, or a cup of tea or to talk about it. Don't give advice or solve their problems unless you know that is what they want.
6. Provide options of 3 possibilities:
Provide different options of help. "Would you like me to leave you in peace, bring you a cup of tea or give you a hug?" This is different from saying, "Here have a cup of tea". Don't trap them into accepting something. Gentle suggestions can help them to respond.
7. If the person says something, ACCEPT it:
Accept what the person says. Don't judge. Don't tell them what to do. Don't tell them to stop feeling like that. Don't tell them they need to change. Don't fire questions a
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