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Digg it UP - Turn Your Relationships into an Energy Generators Rather than Energy Drainers
One of the greatest things that I have found is that you can write fun articles to increase your article marketing without hurting your online article marketing efforts. For instance last year I wrote a bunch of articles about Christmas, just after election day, when I started seeing all the items and decorations in the stores. Writing these articles early gave me the advantage in the market and I was able to get my articles spidered well in the search engines well before Christmas.My strategy worked and two of the articles hit over 1,000 articles views on one website and one article was syndicated 15 times. Guess what, I still have those articles up and here comes Christmas and it looks like those articles which have been cooking all year round must have been not so naughty and very nice, because they are looking good and ready to rip during this 2006 Christmas Holiday Season as well.If you are careful how you write your Christmas articles you might discover How Writing a Christmas Article can keep giving all year long! Now then, here is my tip. Write about a popular
Capitalize On Your Communication
The quality of your response to good or positive news from the other person can turn any good relationship – marriage, parenting, friendship – into a great one. If you react positively and enthusiastically, your relationship is likely to be more committed, more caring, and more satisfying – at the time and later on.
Shelly Gable divides the possible responses to good news into the following four categories:
Do you "react enthusiastically" (active-constructive)? "That’s the best news I've heard this week, and I'll bet it’s just the first of many big raises you'll get."Do you "point out the potential problems or down sides of the good event" (active-destructive)? "Are you sure you can handle the added responsibility?"
Do you "say little, but convey that you are happy to hear the news" (passive-constructive)? "That's very nice, dear."
Do you "seem uninterested" (passive-destructive)? "Isn't all this rain something?"
The first category, active-constructive, capitalizes on the situation, amplifying the pleasure of the good situation contributing to an upward spiral of positive emotion. Capitalizing turns out to be a key to strong relationships.
When your partner in
If you are planning for a suitable loan option, where you don’t have to put your property as collateral, then an unsecured loan option would be a viable loan option for you to seek. An unsecured loan could be sought to satiate most of your needs.It can be procured fast because the valuation of collateral doesn’t take place. The paper work involved in the loan process is less, which helps in getting loans easier. The best part with this loan type is that the threat of repossession of your property is not there in this case.The growing competition among the private lenders may help you in getting a loan at lower interest rates. A comparison analysis will help you to select a loan deal according to your choice.People whose credit record is not perfect may also be offered unsecured loans. This loan option may also assist you in improving your credit record. A bad credit history could be anything like arrears, County Court Judgements, defaults, bankruptcy etc. Even if your loan application has been turned down by the lenders, you should keep on applyin
Women are relationship oriented. A good relationship can give you increased energy and support a positive outlook. A troubled relationship can wear you out.
Your limbic brain controls your physiology and is also your emotional brain. The health and wellbeing of your relationships entrains your emotional brain, which in turn governs your physiological health.
Nothing affects the emotional brain like the quality of your relationships. Research shows that when we feel emotionally disconnected from those with whom we are in relationship, our emotional brain becomes aroused and we move into flight or fight mode. This means we respond only in terms of defense and attack. The results are not good for our relationships and it throws our physiology into chaos.
When you are engaged in disconnected, turbulent, or emotionally unfulfilling relationships, your moods and energy can become drained, negative, and unsustaining.
By contrast, relationship peace and connection can lead to better health and well being, more vital energy and more positive moods. By almost every measure those who have close and rewarding relationships do better than those who have turbulent relationships.
Here are some tips to turn your relationships into energy generators instead of energy drainers.
Spend More Time with Your Partner
Marriage researcher John Gottman has found that marriages that work and improve over the years have certain characteristic interactions. Happy couples spend more time on their relationships– an extra 5 hours a week. They engage in:
Partings –saying good bye in the morning and finding out at least one thing that each is going to be doing that dayReunions –have a low stress reunion conversation at the end of the day
Affection –have more physical contact – about 5 minutes a day - laced with kindness and forgiveness
One weekly date –make time each week - at least 2 hours - to be by themselves in a relaxed atmosphere updating their relationship with each other
Admiration and appreciation - at least once a day couples give each genuine affection and appreciation
Look to Each Other Strengths
One of the more amazing results of research on romance is that the more you hold onto your illusions about your partner’s strengths and virtues, the more lasting and stable the relationship and the happier you are. The crucial measure is the discrepancy between what your friends believe are your strengths and what your partner believes are your strengths. The bigger the discrepancy in what your partner believes about your strengths -- in the positive direction -- the greater the romantic illusion your partner has about you.
Happier couples look on the bright side of the relationship, focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses -- believing that bad events that might threaten other couples do not affect them. These couples thrive even when they are actually threatened with such events, and they do so in proportion to the size of their illusions about each other.
Positive illusions are self–fulfilling because the idealized partners actually try to live up to them. They are daily buffers against hassles, since partners forgive each other more easily for the transgressions of daily life and use the alchemy of illusion to downplay faults and elevate shortcomings into strengths.
Be Optimistic
The optimistic and pessimistic explanatory styles of each person in the marriage impacts how healthy, stable and viable the relationship is and how workable and happy it is. Any combination of optimism and pessimism can work except when two pessimists get together.
When two pessimists are in a relationship, it is easy for a negative downward spiral to occur – the odds are against them. In such a situation, it is important for one or both of the members of the relationship to change their pessimistic explanatory style into a learned, more optimistic style.
Be A More Responsive and Attentive Listener
Responsive and attentive listening can help make a good relationship better and a poor relationship a good relationship. Validation is a crucial aspect of responsive listening. You should go out of your way to validate what your partner is saying. The more they care about the issue the clearer your validation needs to be.
Validation by the listener ("I see," "Yes, I understand", "OK, I get it.") satisfies the speaker’s need to know that she has been understood. It is also important to let the speaker know that you either agree or at least are understanding or sympathetic with what they are saying (nodding, "I agree", " Right" "I can see how you would think that")
Non-responsive listening can be the result of inattention due to external factors such as noise or a distracting situation or internal factors such as fatigue and listening to your own thoughts instead of the speaker, and boredom. To increase your partner’s feeling of validation it is important to move past such factors. Your partner will feel invalidated if you are non-responsive.
One internal factor that often gets in the way of responsive listening is the practice of preparing your rebuttal while listening to the speaker. A good way to overcome this habit is to begin your response with a paraphrase of what you heard the speaker say.
Your ongoing emotional state is also a barrier to responsive listening. When you are experiencing negative emotions you are more likely to hear what is wrong with the speaker’s point rather than what is right. In this case, the best practice is to admit the negative emotion and ask to put off the conversation or apologize for the non-responsive reply.
By being more responsive as a listener, you show your partner that you are paying more attention to them in a higher quality way and that you care about maintaining the connection with them.
Capitalize On Your Communication
The quality of your response to good or positive news from the other person can turn any good relationship – marriage, parenting, friendship – into a great one. If you react positively and enthusiastically, your relationship is likely to be more committed, more caring, and more satisfying – at the time and later on.
Shelly Gable divides the possible responses to good news into the following four categories:
Do you "react enthusiastically" (active-constructive)? "That’s the best news I've heard this week, and I'll bet it’s just the first of many big raises you'll get."Do you "point out the potential problems or down sides of the good event" (active-destructive)? "Are you sure you can handle the added responsibility?"
Do you "say little, but convey that you are happy to hear the news" (passive-constructive)? "That's very nice, dear."
Do you "seem uninterested" (passive-destructive)? "Isn't all this rain something?"
The first category, active-constructive, capitalizes on the situation, amplifying the pleasure of the good situation contributing to an upward spiral of positive emotion. Capitalizing turns out to be a key to strong relationships.
When your partner in a
Many personnel of the US military, whether it is the Air Force, Marines, or any other branch of the military including the national guard, are taking advantage of military loans. Since they offer lower interest rates, quick turn around, and the ability to send the cash anywhere in the world any way you want, they are well worth the time.Pioneer Lending is one company that offers military loans via an online application. There are actually hundreds of companies out there that can help marines, Army vets, and National Guard (all branches) personnel get their loans completed. Armed Forces loans, though, does give you the benefit of a very quick turn around of as little as four hours, no matter where in the world you may be. The process itself is actually pretty simple, as you will see.First, you must go to their online application. The application asks you for your loan amount and turn. As for personal information, you need your name, social security number, date of birth, email, military email, and basic contact information. This part of the process is the same for most
Partings –saying good bye in the morning and finding out at least one thing that each is going to be doing that dayReunions –have a low stress reunion conversation at the end of the day
Affection –have more physical contact – about 5 minutes a day - laced with kindness and forgiveness
One weekly date –make time each week - at least 2 hours - to be by themselves in a relaxed atmosphere updating their relationship with each other
Admiration and appreciation - at least once a day couples give each genuine affection and appreciation
Look to Each Other Strengths
One of the more amazing results of research on romance is that the more you hold onto your illusions about your partner’s strengths and virtues, the more lasting and stable the relationship and the happier you are. The crucial measure is the discrepancy between what your friends believe are your strengths and what your partner believes are your strengths. The bigger the discrepancy in what your partner believes about your strengths -- in the positive direction -- the greater the romantic illusion your partner has about you.
Happier couples look on the bright side of the relationship, focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses -- believing that bad events that might threaten other couples do not affect them. These couples thrive even when they are actually threatened with such events, and they do so in proportion to the size of their illusions about each other.
Positive illusions are self–fulfilling because the idealized partners actually try to live up to them. They are daily buffers against hassles, since partners forgive each other more easily for the transgressions of daily life and use the alchemy of illusion to downplay faults and elevate shortcomings into strengths.
Be Optimistic
The optimistic and pessimistic explanatory styles of each person in the marriage impacts how healthy, stable and viable the relationship is and how workable and happy it is. Any combination of optimism and pessimism can work except when two pessimists get together.
When two pessimists are in a relationship, it is easy for a negative downward spiral to occur – the odds are against them. In such a situation, it is important for one or both of the members of the relationship to change their pessimistic explanatory style into a learned, more optimistic style.
Be A More Responsive and Attentive Listener
Responsive and attentive listening can help make a good relationship better and a poor relationship a good relationship. Validation is a crucial aspect of responsive listening. You should go out of your way to validate what your partner is saying. The more they care about the issue the clearer your validation needs to be.
Validation by the listener ("I see," "Yes, I understand", "OK, I get it.") satisfies the speaker’s need to know that she has been understood. It is also important to let the speaker know that you either agree or at least are understanding or sympathetic with what they are saying (nodding, "I agree", " Right" "I can see how you would think that")
Non-responsive listening can be the result of inattention due to external factors such as noise or a distracting situation or internal factors such as fatigue and listening to your own thoughts instead of the speaker, and boredom. To increase your partner’s feeling of validation it is important to move past such factors. Your partner will feel invalidated if you are non-responsive.
One internal factor that often gets in the way of responsive listening is the practice of preparing your rebuttal while listening to the speaker. A good way to overcome this habit is to begin your response with a paraphrase of what you heard the speaker say.
Your ongoing emotional state is also a barrier to responsive listening. When you are experiencing negative emotions you are more likely to hear what is wrong with the speaker’s point rather than what is right. In this case, the best practice is to admit the negative emotion and ask to put off the conversation or apologize for the non-responsive reply.
By being more responsive as a listener, you show your partner that you are paying more attention to them in a higher quality way and that you care about maintaining the connection with them.
Capitalize On Your Communication
The quality of your response to good or positive news from the other person can turn any good relationship – marriage, parenting, friendship – into a great one. If you react positively and enthusiastically, your relationship is likely to be more committed, more caring, and more satisfying – at the time and later on.
Shelly Gable divides the possible responses to good news into the following four categories:
Do you "react enthusiastically" (active-constructive)? "That’s the best news I've heard this week, and I'll bet it’s just the first of many big raises you'll get."Do you "point out the potential problems or down sides of the good event" (active-destructive)? "Are you sure you can handle the added responsibility?"
Do you "say little, but convey that you are happy to hear the news" (passive-constructive)? "That's very nice, dear."
Do you "seem uninterested" (passive-destructive)? "Isn't all this rain something?"
The first category, active-constructive, capitalizes on the situation, amplifying the pleasure of the good situation contributing to an upward spiral of positive emotion. Capitalizing turns out to be a key to strong relationships.
When your partner in
Creating and maintaining blogs have quickly become popular because it is a convenient way to impart personal thoughts and air emotions and get comments and opinions from people who read your blog. Given this concept, it may seem that only really brave people can blog especially since a blog entry can be read by virtually the entire network of Internet users all around the world.The truth however is that some people who blog are lulled into a false sense of security when it comes to sharing blog entries perhaps because they may feel a certain sense of anonymity when they don't have to communicate face to face with people.This fact can be good therapy but unchecked, it can lead to some complications. For instance you have a blogging spouse or a spouse that maintains a blog and uses this to air feelings and emotions. In this case your blogging spouse used his or her blog as a personal online diary. The problem with an online diary is that other people can read it.Even if your blogging spouse restricts the allowed viewers of his or her blog entries, there will stil
Positive illusions are self–fulfilling because the idealized partners actually try to live up to them. They are daily buffers against hassles, since partners forgive each other more easily for the transgressions of daily life and use the alchemy of illusion to downplay faults and elevate shortcomings into strengths.
Be Optimistic
The optimistic and pessimistic explanatory styles of each person in the marriage impacts how healthy, stable and viable the relationship is and how workable and happy it is. Any combination of optimism and pessimism can work except when two pessimists get together.
When two pessimists are in a relationship, it is easy for a negative downward spiral to occur – the odds are against them. In such a situation, it is important for one or both of the members of the relationship to change their pessimistic explanatory style into a learned, more optimistic style.
Be A More Responsive and Attentive Listener
Responsive and attentive listening can help make a good relationship better and a poor relationship a good relationship. Validation is a crucial aspect of responsive listening. You should go out of your way to validate what your partner is saying. The more they care about the issue the clearer your validation needs to be.
Validation by the listener ("I see," "Yes, I understand", "OK, I get it.") satisfies the speaker’s need to know that she has been understood. It is also important to let the speaker know that you either agree or at least are understanding or sympathetic with what they are saying (nodding, "I agree", " Right" "I can see how you would think that")
Non-responsive listening can be the result of inattention due to external factors such as noise or a distracting situation or internal factors such as fatigue and listening to your own thoughts instead of the speaker, and boredom. To increase your partner’s feeling of validation it is important to move past such factors. Your partner will feel invalidated if you are non-responsive.
One internal factor that often gets in the way of responsive listening is the practice of preparing your rebuttal while listening to the speaker. A good way to overcome this habit is to begin your response with a paraphrase of what you heard the speaker say.
Your ongoing emotional state is also a barrier to responsive listening. When you are experiencing negative emotions you are more likely to hear what is wrong with the speaker’s point rather than what is right. In this case, the best practice is to admit the negative emotion and ask to put off the conversation or apologize for the non-responsive reply.
By being more responsive as a listener, you show your partner that you are paying more attention to them in a higher quality way and that you care about maintaining the connection with them.
Capitalize On Your Communication
The quality of your response to good or positive news from the other person can turn any good relationship – marriage, parenting, friendship – into a great one. If you react positively and enthusiastically, your relationship is likely to be more committed, more caring, and more satisfying – at the time and later on.
Shelly Gable divides the possible responses to good news into the following four categories:
Do you "react enthusiastically" (active-constructive)? "That’s the best news I've heard this week, and I'll bet it’s just the first of many big raises you'll get."Do you "point out the potential problems or down sides of the good event" (active-destructive)? "Are you sure you can handle the added responsibility?"
Do you "say little, but convey that you are happy to hear the news" (passive-constructive)? "That's very nice, dear."
Do you "seem uninterested" (passive-destructive)? "Isn't all this rain something?"
The first category, active-constructive, capitalizes on the situation, amplifying the pleasure of the good situation contributing to an upward spiral of positive emotion. Capitalizing turns out to be a key to strong relationships.
When your partner in
Designers seem to be scaling back on the ‘in your face’ logo bags. There is so much one can do to a bag besides add a handle and a zipper. Designers are stretching their creative muscles and reaching for individuality.Of course, there are your typical big name players that will always have their logos strewn across their bags (Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Fendi, etc.) in every collection. But even these brands have found triumph in removing their names and replacing them with wonderful designs, colors (metallics are popping everywhere) textures (patent leather and patchwork), and shapes. This season, translucent bags will be home to Dolce & Gabanna, Oscar de la Renta, Chanel, and many more. Even patent leather will find warmth with Marc Jacobs, Valentino, and others .Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and Yves Saint Laurent all have coveted bags in the metallic family. Right now, It’s all about texture and quality.It does seem that many of the names above established themselves by stamping their logo everywhere possible. It was how consumers first familiarized themselves with the brand.
Validation by the listener ("I see," "Yes, I understand", "OK, I get it.") satisfies the speaker’s need to know that she has been understood. It is also important to let the speaker know that you either agree or at least are understanding or sympathetic with what they are saying (nodding, "I agree", " Right" "I can see how you would think that")
Non-responsive listening can be the result of inattention due to external factors such as noise or a distracting situation or internal factors such as fatigue and listening to your own thoughts instead of the speaker, and boredom. To increase your partner’s feeling of validation it is important to move past such factors. Your partner will feel invalidated if you are non-responsive.
One internal factor that often gets in the way of responsive listening is the practice of preparing your rebuttal while listening to the speaker. A good way to overcome this habit is to begin your response with a paraphrase of what you heard the speaker say.
Your ongoing emotional state is also a barrier to responsive listening. When you are experiencing negative emotions you are more likely to hear what is wrong with the speaker’s point rather than what is right. In this case, the best practice is to admit the negative emotion and ask to put off the conversation or apologize for the non-responsive reply.
By being more responsive as a listener, you show your partner that you are paying more attention to them in a higher quality way and that you care about maintaining the connection with them.
Capitalize On Your Communication
The quality of your response to good or positive news from the other person can turn any good relationship – marriage, parenting, friendship – into a great one. If you react positively and enthusiastically, your relationship is likely to be more committed, more caring, and more satisfying – at the time and later on.
Shelly Gable divides the possible responses to good news into the following four categories:
Do you "react enthusiastically" (active-constructive)? "That’s the best news I've heard this week, and I'll bet it’s just the first of many big raises you'll get."Do you "point out the potential problems or down sides of the good event" (active-destructive)? "Are you sure you can handle the added responsibility?"
Do you "say little, but convey that you are happy to hear the news" (passive-constructive)? "That's very nice, dear."
Do you "seem uninterested" (passive-destructive)? "Isn't all this rain something?"
The first category, active-constructive, capitalizes on the situation, amplifying the pleasure of the good situation contributing to an upward spiral of positive emotion. Capitalizing turns out to be a key to strong relationships.
When your partner in
To most taxpayers who can’t wait for a check to arrive from the federal government, refund anticipation loans may seem appealing, until they realize that the fees and high interest rate can drastically affect the amount they were expecting to receive.Taxpayers should first find a way to even out their finances, and then file their taxes so they can get back what is due them.Beginning in the last couple of years, taxpayers no longer had to wait until the end of January when they receive their W-2 forms to apply for refund anticipation loans. They can now simply take their December pay stubs to a tax preparer and receive a refund.Consumer advocates believe that both types of loans are disadvantageous to low-income families because they are least able to afford the high fees and interest rates from their tax refunds and earned income tax credits.According to Consumer Federal of America and the National Consumer Law Center, recent data has shown that in 2004 refund anticipation loans cost 12 million taxpayers $1 billion in loan fees, with pay stub loans most
Capitalize On Your Communication
The quality of your response to good or positive news from the other person can turn any good relationship – marriage, parenting, friendship – into a great one. If you react positively and enthusiastically, your relationship is likely to be more committed, more caring, and more satisfying – at the time and later on.
Shelly Gable divides the possible responses to good news into the following four categories:
Do you "react enthusiastically" (active-constructive)? "That’s the best news I've heard this week, and I'll bet it’s just the first of many big raises you'll get."Do you "point out the potential problems or down sides of the good event" (active-destructive)? "Are you sure you can handle the added responsibility?"
Do you "say little, but convey that you are happy to hear the news" (passive-constructive)? "That's very nice, dear."
Do you "seem uninterested" (passive-destructive)? "Isn't all this rain something?"
The first category, active-constructive, capitalizes on the situation, amplifying the pleasure of the good situation contributing to an upward spiral of positive emotion. Capitalizing turns out to be a key to strong relationships.
When your partner in a relationship tells you some good news or something they are excited about, take the time and energy to convey your enthusiastic positive support. Save any downsides that you see until another time.
With just a few targeted changes, you can reap the benefits of stable, connected and satisfying relationships.
"What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?" -- George Elliot
References
The Relationship Cure. By John Gottman and Joan DeClaire
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
Murray, S., Holmes, J., Dolderman, D., & Griffin, D. (2000). What the motivated mind sees: Comparing friends’ perspectives to married partners' views of each other. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 36, 600-620
Authentic Happiness. By Martin Seligman
Fighting For Your Marriage. By Markman, Stanley and Blumberg
"Will you be there for me when things go right?" Supportive responses to positive event disclosures by Shelly Gable in Love and Positive Emotions by Martin Seligman Authentic Happiness Newsletter http://www.authentichappiness.org/newsletter
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