Digg it UP - Relationships

Estate - Don't Leave Loved Ones In A Lurch
Nothing brings home the importance of having our affairs in order than seeing the effects firsthand in your own family. My mother-in-law’s recent death means my family is dealing with the realities of settling her affairs. Her advanced-planning greatly simplified the process. And it will for you, too.When her cancer returned, she had the wisdom and foresight to make sure that there would be proper access to her assets should she become incapacitated and that they would be easily transferred after her death. Those facing a terminal illness are motivated to address these issues. For the rest of us, they are often overlooked.No one lives forever and mental capacity can quickly diminish, so it is important that you prepare now. Besides, these issues aren’t only for the elderly. One of my clients (an energetic, full-of-life 50 year old) was recently struck by an automobile and killed. Another middle-aged client developed a rare disease and lives in extreme, constant pain requiring heavy medication.There’s no way to know when or if tragedy might strike, but there are several simple steps we can take to make sure these events don’t create a tremendous burden on ourselves or our loved ones.A Power of Attorney (POA) allows you to control who manages your financial affairs when you can’t. Think about it. If something were to happen to you today, who would be able to pay your bills and handle your finances for you? If you don’t have a POA in place and up to date, it may be necessary for the courts to step in and name someone as your conservator.If you don’t have a current POA, get one. If you have one, pull it out and review it to make sure it accurately reflects your desires. If your Power of Attorney is several years old I recommend signing it anew because some institutions hesitate to accept a POA that is several years old.For instance, one of my client’s in Oregon worked in a financial services office. One day a customer came in to complain. He had a Power of Attorney signed by his mother that was several years old. A bank would not accept it because it was not signed within six months. If your Power of

the inside out. Your worth is not determined by your weight or your teeth. All of this can be adjusted. You can get a dental bridge and have teeth. Some people are overweight due to thyroid problems, and they are just as worthy as people who are stick thin. This is a time to love yourself by discovering what you truly love, what you really want to express from within concerning your life purpose. These discoveries will help you to heal your self-degrading feelings. Take heart. I used to be the world’s biggest doormat. I had an unhappy childhood, failed relationships, and very low self-esteem. I had to discover my passion, find my value from the inside out, and express it as my joy-filled work each day in order to feel my value as an equal member of the human race.

Nobody is better than you. Nobody is less than you. A normal relationship is one in which you can value yourself and the other person equally. In a normal relationship, you are treated beautifully, and you treat the other person beautifully. A normal relationship has one prerequisite: you must really love yourself. Plenty of people who write to me and many people I know look like models, and they still feel unworthy. I used to be one of them, too.

Ask yourself this: If you had ten million dollars in the bank and could do something for the rest of your life that would fill you

Change Is Inevitable - Misery Is A Choice
“We trained hard…but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization”. This is not a quote from the latest biography of a retired CEO, or from a management consultant’s book in an airport bookshop. It was written in AD 65 by Caius Petronius, who apparently had an insight or two into organizational development.In 513 BC, Heraclitus observed that, “There is nothing permanent except change.” And in the 16th century, Machiavelli stated in 'The Prince', “There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.” So there you are – change and reorganization was sort of invented by the Roman army, had already been accepted as inevitable by the Greeks, and has continued ever since. But don’t despair if you are part of it, even Machiavelli conceded that it is difficult. But how difficult?If one has to judge using the conventional wisdom and shared beliefs in this area, the answer is: “Very”. I can’t think of any other phrase or statement more used in management conversations than the one that says ‘people are resistant to change’. By repeating it like parrots, we have taken it at face value. If you heard somebody in a company saying that people are not resistant to change, your first impression would be that he, or she, must be nuts! Look around you: all these legions of consultants and academics saying the opposite; a whole industry of books, tapes, conferences and motivational speakers delivering ‘how to’ (change) solutions, all under the premise that people need to be pushed, otherwise they would prefer to remain static. The Machiavelli school of change management is the official one: it’s going to be difficult, pain is inevitable, people don’t like it – push or else.There is a particular sector of the organization that has repea

Excerpt from Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE

QUESTION:

What to do if one person in the marriage grows spiritually and the other stays the same and refuses to acknowledge the other person’s beliefs as right for them? My husband thinks that my study of metaphysics is just temporary and that I will come back to his religion. I don’t know how to handle this, but the issue involves every aspect of our relationship. I don’t feel connected in any sense except by our two small children, aged 4 and 2.

ANSWER:

It is vital that you continue to follow your truth with respect to your spiritual growth. No one has the right to judge, criticize, or coerce you to follow his religious or spiritual preferences. This is not up for debate. You do not have to convince your husband or seek approval from him or from anyone else regarding your personal truth, spiritual values, or beliefs. Quite frankly, it is no one’s business but your own. So I would advise you to ask yourself why you are staying in a relationship when the only connection you feel is through your children. If you feel the relationship is not satisfying and if you feel that your personal and spiritual growth are not being honored, it is perfectly okay to remove yourself from criticism, misery, and condemnation from the man you are sharing your (unhappy) life with.

Alternatively, you can stand in your truth and state that your spiritual growth will never be judged or dictated to by any other human being, and ask your husband to accept you for who you are, despite his differing views. Ask him if he would like it if you tried to dictate his religious preferences. You can ask him to honor who you are, and if he refuses to do so, then you do have the option to end the relationship that is more hurtful than supportive. You deserve respect on all levels. Please remember that.

QUESTION:

After 28 years in a dysfunctional marriage, I finally divorced my husband. That was 14 months ago. Now we are both changing and are back together, realizing that we both needed to change to become healthier people. With God’s blessings, hopefully, do you think we can become what we both need for ourselves and for one another?

ANSWER:

Absolutely! This is actually fantastic to hear. When two people love each other and realize that they both need to take personal responsibility to heal and evolve on all levels of personal growth, when each partner is committed to his own personal growth and supportive of his partner’s process, this is a gift.

Our greatest growth in relationships comes from being in relationships, not in isolation. Always share honestly. Always be true to self and have the courage to be real with your partner. You can never go wrong.

QUESTION:

How can you use your intuition to figure out where you should move to, to meet your partner, if you are currently single? I am going to move from the town I’ve been living in for 25 years and want to know how I can figure out where I should move to.

ANSWER:

Dear One, when you move to another town because you want to live there, to enhance your own life, and for no other reason, you will attract someone who is living his or her truth as well, rather than searching for a partner. The key here is in attracting by living your life for you rather than searching to fill a void. You will find that when you least expect it, someone who mirrors where you are within yourself will pop right into your life. So thrive and create the best life you can. Passionately fill your days and nights with all you love to do, and you will attract someone who is living his or her life that way, someone who will mirror you.

QUESTION:

How will I know when I am truly ready to be in a relationship, after not being in one for over eight years? I quit trying after my last relationship turned out to be just like my ex-husband, who was an alcoholic, used cocaine, and went into violent rages. I was severely abused by my natural father, sexually, emotionally, and physically . . . then sexually molested by my brother, brother-in-law, and stepfather (who also beat us). I know from counseling that my relationships with men were my way of trying to “fix” my father/male role models. I think I’m not ready to be in a relationship yet because I feel that I have nothing to offer. I am 200 lbs. overweight and have no teeth. I am also in severe pain most of the time because of fibromyalgia and lower back pain from a fall several years ago. To lose weight I need to exercise, but I am in so much pain that it’s almost impossible. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all of this and discouraged, but I keep going. I am also an insomniac, and when I do happen to fall asleep, I usually have horrific nightmares. I am telling you all of this not for you to do something about it but so that you will understand my original question about relationships. What is a normal relationship, and how do I know it’s love?

ANSWER:

First, know with absolute certainty that you do have a lot to offer, even just by sharing authentically. It took a lot of courage for you to open up, and so many people can relate to you. Many others have asked for similar answers, so I thank you for your question.

Now, it is time you forced yourself to discover every wonderful quality you have from the inside out. Your worth is not determined by your weight or your teeth. All of this can be adjusted. You can get a dental bridge and have teeth. Some people are overweight due to thyroid problems, and they are just as worthy as people who are stick thin. This is a time to love yourself by discovering what you truly love, what you really want to express from within concerning your life purpose. These discoveries will help you to heal your self-degrading feelings. Take heart. I used to be the world’s biggest doormat. I had an unhappy childhood, failed relationships, and very low self-esteem. I had to discover my passion, find my value from the inside out, and express it as my joy-filled work each day in order to feel my value as an equal member of the human race.

Ask yourself this: If you had ten million dollars in the bank and could do something for the rest of your life that would fill you

True Value
When buying a stock, mutual fund or Exchange Traded Fund (ETF) investors want to know they are receiving a good value for the money. It seems there are many methods of judging value. Most of them are complicated and many are subjective to the writer’s opinion. What is the true value now?We all remember that as the market fell from its dizzying heights in 2000 that so-called analysts told the investment public not to worry as the correction only made the stocks more valuable. Yeah, and pigs can fly.Any investor who has been through a market “correction” (some of which drop 25% to as much as 60% or more) will tell that it is at the top that everything could not be better. Consumer confidence is high. Unemployment is low. Companies are making money. Mergers are going gangbusters. All the talking heads on the radio and TV are cheerleaders for buying just about any stock certificate ever printed. Put you hand in your pocket and hold tightly to your wallet.The story remains bullish as the market tumbles. The values are wonderful according to Wall Street. If the values are so great then who is selling?Why does anyone want to know if a stock or fund is a “good” value? The only reason is to find out if the equity will appreciate in price. The bottom line is will the investor make money if that issue is bought?There are literally hundreds of methods and formulas to give that answer. Each uses the same statistics and each will come up with a different answer. Some methods will work well for a while and then fail miserably. Mr. Investor won’t know the means test is not working until money has been lost. A search in Wikipedia, the free Internet encyclopedia, will reveal scores of valuation formulas.Suppose an investor had bought PMC Sierra (symbol PMCS) after valuation analysis at $14 per share. It soared to $254, dropped to $110, then back up to $245 and did a Niagara to $2.50. It now trades below $10.00. There is no valuation method that could have kept an investor on the right side of this stock. The Buy N Holder would be lucky to be even. Let’s not forget all those sl

u are sharing your (unhappy) life with.

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Ask yourself this: If you had ten million dollars in the bank and could do something for the rest of your life that would fill you

Get Urgent Finance By Opting For Instant Loans
You are in urgent need of money while your next salary is still say two weeks away. Being a working class person you do not have any other source of income. In cases like this instant loans provide you ready money just when you need most. You can put instant loans to various usages like works of home improvements, enjoying a holiday trip, making payments for education or wedding bills etc.As the term applies instant loans are approved quickly and the loan is deposited in the bank account of the borrower within 24 hours. The loan gets quickly processed as no credit check is done by the lenders. Instant loans are secured against borrower’s next month paycheque. The borrower issues a postdated cheque of the borrowed amount to the lender. On the due date lender cashes the cheque from the borrower’s bank account and the loan is paid back.Instant loans are generally availed for a shorter period of up to a month. Because of short repayment term, lenders provide instant loans at very high interest rate. The loan amount in instant loan depends on the salary the borrower draws. Generally lenders provide ?100 to ?1000 as instant loans. If borrowers have a good credit history they may avail even ?1500.One major attraction of instant loan is that the loan is given without hassle to borrowers having bad credit. Since the loan is fully secured by the paycheque, lenders do not check credentials of the salaried people. However, in case borrower needs to avail greater loan then the credit history of the loan seeker plays major role. Salary earning people should keep their credit record clean so that they take larger loan at the time of urgency. To improve credentials, instant loan seekers should make effort to pay off easy debts which increases credit score of the borrowers and helps in getting instant loan of their requirement. Credit score of 620 and above is considered by the loan providers as risk free for offering the loan.There are numerous bankers, online lenders and financial institutions who provide instant loans but borrowers should take advantage of internet and apply for the loan online which is convenient method. Bo

tly. Always be true to self and have the courage to be real with your partner. You can never go wrong.

QUESTION:

ANSWER:

QUESTION:

ANSWER:

Ask yourself this: If you had ten million dollars in the bank and could do something for the rest of your life that would fill you

Building Your Ideal Practice: What's in Your Work Model?
The credit card commercial asks:"What's in your wallet?"The message is that they want to save you from the ravages of high interest from other credit card companies.When I ask:"What's in your work model?"I want to save you from the ravages of having a job and living paycheck to paycheck.Work once - get paid onceIf you get paid per hour for what you do, you have a job. And in most cases, J-O-B stands for Just Over Broke.Even if you have a very high hourly fee, you still have a job and are trading time for money. In my private practice, my hourly fee is high enough to pay the bill and provide for a family of four people.That's the good news.The bad news is that I am still trading time for money and I'm limited by the number of hours I can put in. If I'm not there in my chair, I'm not making any income.Work once - get paid, get paid, get paid, paid, paidI like this work model a whole lot better.With a properly structured website you can have products that can be purchased while you are doing something else. For example, I have a set of article templates that help writers write articles quickly. I worked once to create it. Now I get paid, paid, paid, everyday when someone orders the templates.Whatever your business, whatever your area of expertise, you do have a choice:Work once - get paid.Work once - get paid, get paid, get paid, paid, paid.It's your call.

my natural father, sexually, emotionally, and physically . . . then sexually molested by my brother, brother-in-law, and stepfather (who also beat us). I know from counseling that my relationships with men were my way of trying to “fix” my father/male role models. I think I’m not ready to be in a relationship yet because I feel that I have nothing to offer. I am 200 lbs. overweight and have no teeth. I am also in severe pain most of the time because of fibromyalgia and lower back pain from a fall several years ago. To lose weight I need to exercise, but I am in so much pain that it’s almost impossible. I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all of this and discouraged, but I keep going. I am also an insomniac, and when I do happen to fall asleep, I usually have horrific nightmares. I am telling you all of this not for you to do something about it but so that you will understand my original question about relationships. What is a normal relationship, and how do I know it’s love?

ANSWER:

Ask yourself this: If you had ten million dollars in the bank and could do something for the rest of your life that would fill you

How to Follow up Your News Releases and Story Pitches
Can you remember a story idea you pitched a year ago that resulted in no news coverage of any kind?If so, how quickly could you respond if a reporter called you today wanting to cover the story? Would you start groping for words, or asking stupid questions like "Who did you say you wanted to interview?" Or would you be ready, on a second's notice?Sound ludicrous? Well, it happened to publicist Jill Lublin, who knew how to handle it, and it can happen to you, too.A few years ago, Jill pitched an idea about one of her clients, a professional speaker, to Meeting Planner magazine. Despite several follow-ups, she never got a response."Then one year later--count 'em--365 days later, I got a call and this reporter said, 'Yes, we want to do the story, and by the way, tomorrow. Are you ready?' And of course the answer is yes, you're always ready when the media calls."That's valuable advice regarding follow-ups. Never assume a story pitch is dead.Jill, co-author of the book Buerrilla Publicity,” also says:When following up, remember The Rule of 7. That means you should follow up seven times, using a combination of phone calls and emails, before you stop contacting journalists. But always be ready in case they call you.Never follow up on routine news releases announcing things like promotions or awards you've won, or they'll view you as a pest. Your efforts are better spent following up on larger stories you have pitched.When following up, concentrate on benefits. Explain how the idea you are pitching is the solution to a problem--and do it quickly, in fewer than 30 seconds.When you call or email, don't say, "Did you get my press release?" or "I'm following up on a call I made two weeks ago." Jill says: "I typically will say, 'I sent you some information.' That’s my code word for press release. What I have found when talking to the media is they hate when you call them up and say, 'Did you get the press release?' What they love is for you to talk about the information in terms of how it can be readily used by them, and why they would care. Really. That’s the bottom line. Why woul

Ask yourself this: If you had ten million dollars in the bank and could do something for the rest of your life that would fill you with great joy, what would that be? What would bring you so much joy that you would do it for free? Search within for the answer. It will lead you to discover your life purpose. Who are the people you admire and connect with from your heart? What are they doing with their lives? That is a good indicator of a natural direction for you, a natural purpose for your life. Moreover, perhaps you suffered the experiences you have been through so that you could reach out and help others overcome their abuse and pain. Usually, our greatest challenges lead to our greatest life purpose fulfilled.

You do have a special purpose. And you are a special human being. Look into your heart to discover what really matters to you. Then bring it out into your life as your work. Being an example stems from your heart, not from your looks. You will attract a wonderful man into your life once you discover and believe that you are wonderful.

QUESTION:

Is unconditional love possible between two persons in a relationship?

ANSWER:

Yes, as long as they both love themselves unconditionally, without self-judgment, self-criticism, or self-abuse of any kind. You can only give what you have on the inside.

QUESTION:

How can I help myself to recognize the “one” that I am supposed to spend my life with?

ANSWER:

When you can be your authentic self in every way with that person, when you treat each other equally and beautifully, love each other’s company, communicate openly and honestly, share similar values, respect each other on all levels without ever compromising your truths, and have wonderful chemistry and passion in bed, then you will recognize that you have found “the one” for you.

QUESTION:

Is there a soul mate for each person?

ANSWER:

Yes, but not every person meets a soul mate in this lifetime. Many people have soul agreements to work out karma from previous lives together or to support each other in this life. We also may experience a soul level recognition with many people in our lives, such as with our best friends or relatives.

A soul mate relationship is not always a bed of roses. It can be one of the most growth-filled and transformative relationships we ever have; and it may or may not last for the remainder of this life, although it serves a deeply important purpose for individual growth.

If you want to attract a wonderful match or spiritual partner, grow to love yourself deeply with genuine appreciation for the person you are. Shine and express all that you came into this life to be and express. You will certainly and naturally attract a wonderful counterpart who will mirror your highest level of growth, and you can share an astounding relationship with that person as your equal on all levels.

There is no “perfect” person. Thinking of a soul mate as such is a myth. But you can attract an incredible person into your life once you become the incredible person you came into this life to be and express on all levels.

QUESTION:

Why must we be prepared to accept that some wonderful relationships, even of soul mates, are destined to end? Phrased differently, how can we know if a sacred contract is going to result in a relationship ending? How can we carry love forward from that point?

ANSWER:

We cannot hold on to another person for dear life. We never know if suddenly a person is going to be out of our lives. The most important thing is to be and share your greatest self with the one you love, and create the most joy-filled life possible each moment you are fortunate to experience love with another. Life is filled with constant change. Love with all of your heart, share all of who you are, do your best, be your best, express your truth, and always allow the other person the same freedom of being and expression. There are no guarantees in life, but loving fully and purely is one of the most rewarding experiences of life on earth.

QUESTION:

How will I ever feel that I can trust enough and become vulnerable enough to be emotionally intimate with someone without giving away my power?

ANSWER:

The only way you can ever trust another is to first trust yourself, your feelings, your instincts—and listen to them. Then a person can earn your trust over time and through many small experiences. Notice what you instinctively pick up on. Watch to see if the person’s words and actions match. Don’t just give all of your trust to others without getting to know them over time.

When people show you that they can be counted on by following through on what they say and by sharing themselves, you can slowly open up and share yourself. You can share your truth and be emotionally intimate by standing in your truth, regardless of what they do or say.

Never back out of what is true for you to please another person—that is giving away your power.

QUESTION:

How do you change someone’s belief system?

ANSWER:

You don’t. Ever.

Would you like it if someone tried to change your belief system?

You must respect all human beings enough to allow them to be who they are, even if you have different preferences or beliefs. You are not on this earth to change your belief system to please any other person. Therefore, no other person is on this earth to change his or her belief

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