ealize my missteps were primarily due to my own loneliness because I was not particularly physically attracted to the young lady I scared away with my over eagerness.

As I learned the Bible backwards, beginning in the book of Revelation, so too it seems I am learning relationships the same way (by trial and error). Failure is never final. It is only feedback. Like me you too can fail forward and come out smelling like roses!

Here are 12 Secrets to Secure Your Heart.

1. Security means you are not in a hurry.

2. Love is patient.

3. Let patience have its perfect work and don’t judge, speak or act prematurely.

4. Intimacy can never occur where insecurity is leading the way.

5. Acknowledge and face your fears rather than punishing others because of them.

6. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on people to meet your unmet needs.

Self-discovery is ongoing. I therefore have determined to be a lifelong learner and endure the humbling moments so as to ensure and enjoy a better life thereafter.

Not all personal pain that we experience in life is the result of outward circumstances or actions caused by others. Honestly quite often we ourselves create our world and the experiences that come our way good or bad. Taking responsibility for such, though painful, is equally empowering because we also can change our ways and thereby our world.

I went through a severe emotional setback while endeavoring to befriend and date a young lady, a woman who at first pursued me. Upon returning from overseas, I talked to her on the phone and then arranged to meet her for Monday night football at her apartment. Initially I truly did not think anything would become of my meeting her other than a friendship. However once I met her, felt her heart, observed her ways and saw what a pleasant person she was I somehow was taken by her.

That usually is not a bad thing, especially when the girl has already expressed an interest in you. Yet what transpired the days following was nothing less than disastrous.

My beloved grandfather always called me “impetuous” and even would go to the extent of endeavoring to put added emphasis by saying, “Go look that word up in the dictionary Paul.” Apparently I never got it and it is a lesson I am still learning.

Intensity is another character trait of mine. When I want something I go after it. As I child when I took up baseball, I would not just play an hour or two a week like the other kids. I would play ball day and night until the sun went down. Then I would go to bed with my ball glove beside my pillow.

Academically once I entered college my hunger for knowledge and quest for insight proved to be the same. I would sit and wait outside of my economics professor’s office after class to ask additional questions.

Then when spirituality became an interest of mine I would attend every church service, conference and buy every book possible to further my own spiritual growth.

Intensity in regard to accomplishing and acquiring things can be fruitful, but in regard to developing a friendship en route to a relationship it can be disastrous. Leave it to me to learn this the hard way.

It’s like approaching a dog. If you run toward him, he will likely run from you. However if you approach a dog calmly, he will most likely remain seated and let you pet him.

Friendships and relationships are no different requiring an equal amount of gentleness, patience and tactfulness. Don’t freak on your friends unless you want them to run away from you! Learn to patiently possess your soul, harness your emotions and master your moods.

My blunder bettered me in the long run and gave me a greater understanding of security. That security is not in a hurry. Love is patient. That you get the chick by hatching the egg, not crushing it. The little chick cannot survive outside the egg until it has fully grown and is ready to come out itself. Any premature attempt to get the little chick out will prove fatal. Such was my relational maneuver.

Nevertheless I came out far better in the long run. I learned the importance of personal security, being centered in myself and the necessity of timing in regard to relationships. Today I am involved with a wonderful woman who I plan to marry who is perfectly suitable for me and my career.

In retrospect I realize my missteps were primarily due to my own loneliness because I was not particularly physically attracted to the young lady I scared away with my over eagerness.

As I learned the Bible backwards, beginning in the book of Revelation, so too it seems I am learning relationships the same way (by trial and error). Failure is never final. It is only feedback. Like me you too can fail forward and come out smelling like roses!

Here are 12 Secrets to Secure Your Heart.

1. Security means you are not in a hurry.

2. Love is patient.

3. Let patience have its perfect work and don’t judge, speak or act prematurely.

4. Intimacy can never occur where insecurity is leading the way.

5. Acknowledge and face your fears rather than punishing others because of them.

6. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on people to meet your unmet needs.

7

once I met her, felt her heart, observed her ways and saw what a pleasant person she was I somehow was taken by her.

That usually is not a bad thing, especially when the girl has already expressed an interest in you. Yet what transpired the days following was nothing less than disastrous.

My beloved grandfather always called me “impetuous” and even would go to the extent of endeavoring to put added emphasis by saying, “Go look that word up in the dictionary Paul.” Apparently I never got it and it is a lesson I am still learning.

Intensity is another character trait of mine. When I want something I go after it. As I child when I took up baseball, I would not just play an hour or two a week like the other kids. I would play ball day and night until the sun went down. Then I would go to bed with my ball glove beside my pillow.

Academically once I entered college my hunger for knowledge and quest for insight proved to be the same. I would sit and wait outside of my economics professor’s office after class to ask additional questions.

Then when spirituality became an interest of mine I would attend every church service, conference and buy every book possible to further my own spiritual growth.

Intensity in regard to accomplishing and acquiring things can be fruitful, but in regard to developing a friendship en route to a relationship it can be disastrous. Leave it to me to learn this the hard way.

It’s like approaching a dog. If you run toward him, he will likely run from you. However if you approach a dog calmly, he will most likely remain seated and let you pet him.

Friendships and relationships are no different requiring an equal amount of gentleness, patience and tactfulness. Don’t freak on your friends unless you want them to run away from you! Learn to patiently possess your soul, harness your emotions and master your moods.

My blunder bettered me in the long run and gave me a greater understanding of security. That security is not in a hurry. Love is patient. That you get the chick by hatching the egg, not crushing it. The little chick cannot survive outside the egg until it has fully grown and is ready to come out itself. Any premature attempt to get the little chick out will prove fatal. Such was my relational maneuver.

Nevertheless I came out far better in the long run. I learned the importance of personal security, being centered in myself and the necessity of timing in regard to relationships. Today I am involved with a wonderful woman who I plan to marry who is perfectly suitable for me and my career.

In retrospect I realize my missteps were primarily due to my own loneliness because I was not particularly physically attracted to the young lady I scared away with my over eagerness.

As I learned the Bible backwards, beginning in the book of Revelation, so too it seems I am learning relationships the same way (by trial and error). Failure is never final. It is only feedback. Like me you too can fail forward and come out smelling like roses!

Here are 12 Secrets to Secure Your Heart.

1. Security means you are not in a hurry.

2. Love is patient.

3. Let patience have its perfect work and don’t judge, speak or act prematurely.

4. Intimacy can never occur where insecurity is leading the way.

5. Acknowledge and face your fears rather than punishing others because of them.

6. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on people to meet your unmet needs.

entered college my hunger for knowledge and quest for insight proved to be the same. I would sit and wait outside of my economics professor’s office after class to ask additional questions.

Then when spirituality became an interest of mine I would attend every church service, conference and buy every book possible to further my own spiritual growth.

Intensity in regard to accomplishing and acquiring things can be fruitful, but in regard to developing a friendship en route to a relationship it can be disastrous. Leave it to me to learn this the hard way.

It’s like approaching a dog. If you run toward him, he will likely run from you. However if you approach a dog calmly, he will most likely remain seated and let you pet him.

Friendships and relationships are no different requiring an equal amount of gentleness, patience and tactfulness. Don’t freak on your friends unless you want them to run away from you! Learn to patiently possess your soul, harness your emotions and master your moods.

My blunder bettered me in the long run and gave me a greater understanding of security. That security is not in a hurry. Love is patient. That you get the chick by hatching the egg, not crushing it. The little chick cannot survive outside the egg until it has fully grown and is ready to come out itself. Any premature attempt to get the little chick out will prove fatal. Such was my relational maneuver.

Nevertheless I came out far better in the long run. I learned the importance of personal security, being centered in myself and the necessity of timing in regard to relationships. Today I am involved with a wonderful woman who I plan to marry who is perfectly suitable for me and my career.

In retrospect I realize my missteps were primarily due to my own loneliness because I was not particularly physically attracted to the young lady I scared away with my over eagerness.

As I learned the Bible backwards, beginning in the book of Revelation, so too it seems I am learning relationships the same way (by trial and error). Failure is never final. It is only feedback. Like me you too can fail forward and come out smelling like roses!

Here are 12 Secrets to Secure Your Heart.

1. Security means you are not in a hurry.

2. Love is patient.

3. Let patience have its perfect work and don’t judge, speak or act prematurely.

4. Intimacy can never occur where insecurity is leading the way.

5. Acknowledge and face your fears rather than punishing others because of them.

6. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on people to meet your unmet needs.

freak on your friends unless you want them to run away from you! Learn to patiently possess your soul, harness your emotions and master your moods.

My blunder bettered me in the long run and gave me a greater understanding of security. That security is not in a hurry. Love is patient. That you get the chick by hatching the egg, not crushing it. The little chick cannot survive outside the egg until it has fully grown and is ready to come out itself. Any premature attempt to get the little chick out will prove fatal. Such was my relational maneuver.

Nevertheless I came out far better in the long run. I learned the importance of personal security, being centered in myself and the necessity of timing in regard to relationships. Today I am involved with a wonderful woman who I plan to marry who is perfectly suitable for me and my career.

In retrospect I realize my missteps were primarily due to my own loneliness because I was not particularly physically attracted to the young lady I scared away with my over eagerness.

As I learned the Bible backwards, beginning in the book of Revelation, so too it seems I am learning relationships the same way (by trial and error). Failure is never final. It is only feedback. Like me you too can fail forward and come out smelling like roses!

Here are 12 Secrets to Secure Your Heart.

1. Security means you are not in a hurry.

2. Love is patient.

3. Let patience have its perfect work and don’t judge, speak or act prematurely.

4. Intimacy can never occur where insecurity is leading the way.

5. Acknowledge and face your fears rather than punishing others because of them.

6. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on people to meet your unmet needs.

ealize my missteps were primarily due to my own loneliness because I was not particularly physically attracted to the young lady I scared away with my over eagerness.

As I learned the Bible backwards, beginning in the book of Revelation, so too it seems I am learning relationships the same way (by trial and error). Failure is never final. It is only feedback. Like me you too can fail forward and come out smelling like roses!

Here are 12 Secrets to Secure Your Heart.

1. Security means you are not in a hurry.

2. Love is patient.

3. Let patience have its perfect work and don’t judge, speak or act prematurely.

4. Intimacy can never occur where insecurity is leading the way.

5. Acknowledge and face your fears rather than punishing others because of them.

6. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on people to meet your unmet needs.

7. Establish proper boundaries professionally and relationally for your own personal good and security.

8. Before you turn a molehill into a mountain, do some soul searching to find the unmeet need you are seeking to resolve.

9. When you find yourself regressing rather than progressing, look for self-sabotaging fears and beliefs fueling your behavior. Perfect love casts out fear. You cannot be both fearful and loving at the same time.

10. Patiently examine your thoughts, emotions, moods, interactions and reactions to people and circumstances. In so doing you will discover a lot about yourself.

11. Security is found when you seek not your own, but the good of others.

12. When you give love, you get love. Don’t seek to make a withdrawal before you have made a deposit.