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  • Digg it UP - Children Surviving Divorce-With Faith, Commitment and Support

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    e would say when questioned was that he wished "that she was dead". After two and a half years since his mother left home I expected yet another Xmas of underlying heartache and sadness.

    But, this Xmas I am confident there will be
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    It is a late Sunday evening, two weeks before Xmas. It hasn't really been a bad day. Yet it hasn't been a particularly happy day either. Xmas can be a difficult time of the year because it is supposed to be a time of happiness and for giving but it can be a time to remember personal loss.

    It is a time when memories of family events come to mind... of children going to bed on Xmas Eve, being so excited with the sure knowledge that when they wake next morning Santa Claus will have visited and left wonderfully wrapped gifts. The happiness of being woken early to watch the frenzied opening of gifts... Ah, the wonderful memories!

    Yet, Xmas hasn't been so happy for the last two years. The saddest thing of all was that my 18-year-old son refused to accept a single gift from his mother, nor has he given any thought towards giving a gift. There hasn't even been a birthday card sent. In fact, he hasn't spoken to her for over two years. All he would say when questioned was that he wished "that she was dead". After two and a half years since his mother left home I expected yet another Xmas of underlying heartache and sadness.

    But, this Xmas I am confident there will be a
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    but it can be a time to remember personal loss.

    It is a time when memories of family events come to mind... of children going to bed on Xmas Eve, being so excited with the sure knowledge that when they wake next morning Santa Claus will have visited and left wonderfully wrapped gifts. The happiness of being woken early to watch the frenzied opening of gifts... Ah, the wonderful memories!

    Yet, Xmas hasn't been so happy for the last two years. The saddest thing of all was that my 18-year-old son refused to accept a single gift from his mother, nor has he given any thought towards giving a gift. There hasn't even been a birthday card sent. In fact, he hasn't spoken to her for over two years. All he would say when questioned was that he wished "that she was dead". After two and a half years since his mother left home I expected yet another Xmas of underlying heartache and sadness.

    But, this Xmas I am confident there will be
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    will have visited and left wonderfully wrapped gifts. The happiness of being woken early to watch the frenzied opening of gifts... Ah, the wonderful memories!

    Yet, Xmas hasn't been so happy for the last two years. The saddest thing of all was that my 18-year-old son refused to accept a single gift from his mother, nor has he given any thought towards giving a gift. There hasn't even been a birthday card sent. In fact, he hasn't spoken to her for over two years. All he would say when questioned was that he wished "that she was dead". After two and a half years since his mother left home I expected yet another Xmas of underlying heartache and sadness.

    But, this Xmas I am confident there will be
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    g of all was that my 18-year-old son refused to accept a single gift from his mother, nor has he given any thought towards giving a gift. There hasn't even been a birthday card sent. In fact, he hasn't spoken to her for over two years. All he would say when questioned was that he wished "that she was dead". After two and a half years since his mother left home I expected yet another Xmas of underlying heartache and sadness.

    But, this Xmas I am confident there will be
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    e would say when questioned was that he wished "that she was dead". After two and a half years since his mother left home I expected yet another Xmas of underlying heartache and sadness.

    But, this Xmas I am confident there will be a change. My son will be exchanging gifts with his mother.

    As a young man he has been incredibly disturbed by the loss of his mother at a vital stage in his life, at the transition between the end of his childhood and adulthood. In general, little has changed in his attitude towards her from what he is prepared to say, but there is now a glimmer of hope... of reconciliation.

    His Grandmother seems to be partly responsible for this coming together. Sadly, only a few years away from her 100th birthday, she has found it impossible to continue looking after her house and keep herself properly fed. This has brought about a common interest. It has been his choice.

    And all I had to say to him was " After all the doubt and pain that you have been through... you know now that you are more than strong enough to cope with any difficulty"

    It has taken a long time for the situation to change from the icy frozen waste of a mo

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