em up before he comes home from work. That was never going to be me. But I had these fantasies about waking up together, eating at the dinner table, cooking with my husband and maybe—just maybe—finding some joy in cleaning the house. After all, it was our home. If I had been realistic about all this, I would have realized that I hate cleaning. I s“I don’t know if I’m ready to think of myself as married” said a girl whom I’d known for maybe ten minutes. She was getting married in a few weeks time and clearly she was getting nervous. So I did what any good wife would do—I told her the truth. Marriage is just another title for your relationship in the present.

Before I got married, I was afraid that marriage would change me and my friendships. Another part of me thought marriage would make me a better person. The truth is, I had already built my own identity long before we took our vows and nothing could change the real me, for better or for worse. Let me explain...

Fear: My single friends won’t want to hang out with me.

Every marrying woman worries about this. Especially women like me who only know five people who are married. Here’s the reality—your friends don’t care if you are single or not. Really. They will keep talking about sex and how horrible men are, but they will probably stop asking you for dating advice for a while. Then they’ll realize marriage is just another relationship and you can rejoin the “My man is driving me crazy” discussions. If anything makes a single woman happy, it is knowing that no marriage is perfect.

Hope: I’ll start acting more like a wife.

Everyone has this stereotypical image of a housewife who cooks and cleans and sits on her husband’s slippers to warm them up before he comes home from work. That was never going to be me. But I had these fantasies about waking up together, eating at the dinner table, cooking with my husband and maybe—just maybe—finding some joy in cleaning the house. After all, it was our home. If I had been realistic about all this, I would have realized that I hate cleaning. I st

s afraid that marriage would change me and my friendships. Another part of me thought marriage would make me a better person. The truth is, I had already built my own identity long before we took our vows and nothing could change the real me, for better or for worse. Let me explain...

Fear: My single friends won’t want to hang out with me.

Every marrying woman worries about this. Especially women like me who only know five people who are married. Here’s the reality—your friends don’t care if you are single or not. Really. They will keep talking about sex and how horrible men are, but they will probably stop asking you for dating advice for a while. Then they’ll realize marriage is just another relationship and you can rejoin the “My man is driving me crazy” discussions. If anything makes a single woman happy, it is knowing that no marriage is perfect.

Hope: I’ll start acting more like a wife.

Everyone has this stereotypical image of a housewife who cooks and cleans and sits on her husband’s slippers to warm them up before he comes home from work. That was never going to be me. But I had these fantasies about waking up together, eating at the dinner table, cooking with my husband and maybe—just maybe—finding some joy in cleaning the house. After all, it was our home. If I had been realistic about all this, I would have realized that I hate cleaning. I s

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Every marrying woman worries about this. Especially women like me who only know five people who are married. Here’s the reality—your friends don’t care if you are single or not. Really. They will keep talking about sex and how horrible men are, but they will probably stop asking you for dating advice for a while. Then they’ll realize marriage is just another relationship and you can rejoin the “My man is driving me crazy” discussions. If anything makes a single woman happy, it is knowing that no marriage is perfect.

Hope: I’ll start acting more like a wife.

Everyone has this stereotypical image of a housewife who cooks and cleans and sits on her husband’s slippers to warm them up before he comes home from work. That was never going to be me. But I had these fantasies about waking up together, eating at the dinner table, cooking with my husband and maybe—just maybe—finding some joy in cleaning the house. After all, it was our home. If I had been realistic about all this, I would have realized that I hate cleaning. I s

is just another relationship and you can rejoin the “My man is driving me crazy” discussions. If anything makes a single woman happy, it is knowing that no marriage is perfect.

Hope: I’ll start acting more like a wife.

Everyone has this stereotypical image of a housewife who cooks and cleans and sits on her husband’s slippers to warm them up before he comes home from work. That was never going to be me. But I had these fantasies about waking up together, eating at the dinner table, cooking with my husband and maybe—just maybe—finding some joy in cleaning the house. After all, it was our home. If I had been realistic about all this, I would have realized that I hate cleaning. I s

em up before he comes home from work. That was never going to be me. But I had these fantasies about waking up together, eating at the dinner table, cooking with my husband and maybe—just maybe—finding some joy in cleaning the house. After all, it was our home. If I had been realistic about all this, I would have realized that I hate cleaning. I still can’t cook and neither can he, and we are perfectly happy not doing it. So remember, it’s your life and you don’t have to live up to some stereotype. Besides, how does a wedding band change your cooking skills?

Fear: My ambitions will die.

No, that’s what happens when you have kids. Just kidding. One of the main reasons I fell in love with my husband was that he encouraged me to succeed in life and for the first time ever, I really believed it. Every married woman I have spoken to (yes, all five) says that the emotional support of her spouse makes her work harder to achieve her goals. Then, of course, they all wonder if they are working too hard, where it will all lead and what they really want from life. Hey single girl—isn’t that what you’re doing right now, too?

Hope: Our arguments won’t hurt as much.

Every time we fight, I cry. Every time we in fury threaten to be perfectly capable of living without one another, I take it as seriously as the first time I heard those words. I thought before our engagement that I would be able to fight “better” if he had promised himself to me forever. I thought the same when we were going to get married. Guess what? Fighting sucks. But, as my friend Christina says, “Arguing once in a while about the little things is good. It keeps you passionate and makes for good make-up sex.”

Fear: I won’t be able to hav