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Digg it UP - How to Enhance and Enrich Your Marriage
In America, the custom of giving gifts and cards on Valentine's Day is very popular. From children to adults, siblings to lovers, everyone exchanges gifts and wishes of love on Valentine's Day. Apart from gifts, it is even common to have Valentine's Day parties. These parties generally see a lot of dancing and singing. Romantic dinners, picnics and get-togethers are also common on Valentine’s Day in the United States of America.In England, special Valentine's Day songs are sung by kids and they receive gifts of chocolates, fruits or sometimes even cash gifts. In some parts of England, folks make buns with dry fruits like raisins on Valentine's Day. It is also a popular custom in England to write love poems. These poems are written to honor the patron of lo
• These questions are more focused than open-ended questions.
• They help your partner understand what you are interested in hearing more about.
• They further communication because they help you gain more information.
• When you ask these kinds of questions, you demonstrate to your partner that you are interested and that you are listening.
Business Skills for Marriages
You might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully—planning, organizing, and setting goals—also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:
1. Create an overall vision of what you want your life to be like; consider all life areas.
2. Develop a long-range strategy.
3. Set short-term and long-term goals.
4. Plan the steps that will help you accomplish your goals.
5. Organize projects.
6. Manage projects.
7. Manage people.
8. Evaluate progr
Intent vs. ImpactWhen communicating, intent refers to the message you are trying to convey to the other person. Impact refers to the message they actually receive. If we were all top rate communicators, our intent would always match our impact perfectly. It is important to learn more about intent and impact because it is when they don't match, that bitterness and hurt feelings can result. Look at the following example:Jane had a really bad day. When she arrives home she sees that her husband Bill has, once again, left a mess in the kitchen. This makes her furious and she yells at him: "You never help me with anything around here!".Jane's intent was that she is frustrated because Bill often leaves a mess in the
Barriers to Communication
These are a few of the things that prevent people from communicating effectively:
• Not knowing how to communicate properly
• Not taking the time to think through what you want to say
• Not taking the time to anticipate what your partner might be thinking and feeling
• Fear of revealing too much of yourself
• Fear of your partner’s anger
• Not wanting to hurt your partner’s feelings Empathy and Acceptance
People marry because they want to spend the rest of their lives with their partner. They have every hope of growing together and creating a relationship that makes them feel emotionally healthy. Two factors that are necessary for this to happen are empathy and acceptance on the part of both partners.
Empathy is the capacity to put oneself in another’s shoes and understand how they view their reality, how they feel about things.
Demonstrating empathy and acceptance is critical to maintaining a strong relationship. Let’s look next at some communication skills that enable you to create a climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding. First we will explore a skill called Active Listening.
Active Listening
Active listening is a way of communicating that creates the important climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding.
• It is a two-step response to a statement made by your partner.
• It includes reflecting back what emotion you detected in the statement, and the reason for the emotion. This is what active listening sounds like: “Sounds like you’re upset about what happened at work.”
“You’re very annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?”
Why Active Listening Is a Valuable Skill
Active listening is a valuable skill because it demonstrates that you understand what your partner is saying and how he or she is feeling about it.
• Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said.
• It’s a check on whether your understanding is correct.
• It demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned.
Actively listening does not mean agreeing with the other person. The point is to demonstrate to your partner that you intend to hear and understand his or her point of view. This is good for your relationship for several reasons:
• When someone demonstrates that they want to understand what you are thinking and feeling, it feels good.
• It creates good feelings about the other person.
• Restating and checking understanding promotes better communication and fewer misunderstandings.
More Active Listening Examples
Here are some more examples of active listening:
“You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem.”
“It makes you angry when you find errors on Joey’s homework.”
“Sounds like you’re really worried about Wendy.”
“I get the feeling you’re awfully busy right now.”
More Communication Skills
Although our space is limited in this short newsletter, there are a few more communication skills that I must mention. These include asking open-ended questions, making summary statements to check understanding, and encouraging your partner to open up and elaborate by using neutral questions and phrases.
Open-ended questions begin with what, why, how do, or tell me.
• These questions get the other person to open up and elaborate on the topic.
• Asking these kinds of questions gets the other person involved by giving him or her a chance to tell what he or she thinks or knows.
• These questions are designed to encourage your partner to talk.
• They are useful when the other person is silent or reluctant to elaborate.
• They are also useful in dealing with negative emotions (such as anger or fear), since they help encourage the other person to vent feelings.
Summary Statements
Summary statements sum up what you hear your partner saying.
• A summary statement enhances your partner’s self-esteem by showing that you were listening carefully.
• It also helps you focus on facts, not emotions.
• It helps your partner clarify his or her own thinking by hearing your summary.
• Summary statements also help you deal with multiple disagreements so you can deal with them one by one.
• They help eliminate confusion by focusing on the relevant facts.
• Summary statements also help you separate the important issues from the trivial.
Neutral Questions and Phrases
Neutral questions and phrases get your partner to open up and elaborate on the topic you are discussing.
• These questions are more focused than open-ended questions.
• They help your partner understand what you are interested in hearing more about.
• They further communication because they help you gain more information.
• When you ask these kinds of questions, you demonstrate to your partner that you are interested and that you are listening.
Business Skills for Marriages
You might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully—planning, organizing, and setting goals—also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:
1. Create an overall vision of what you want your life to be like; consider all life areas.
2. Develop a long-range strategy.
3. Set short-term and long-term goals.
4. Plan the steps that will help you accomplish your goals.
5. Organize projects.
6. Manage projects.
7. Manage people.
8. Evaluate progre
It's your anniversary and you are prepared. You get home early with your dozen roses and a clever card as you are rushing around you notice that one of the buds is a little droopy. Not much you can do now. Nothing says I love you like droopy flowers?Why not use some high quality silk roses instead? Silk flowers come in lots of sizes and colors. Here's the best part; they are usually cheaper. They won't droop after a few days either.Here's a few ways to approach this and it requires a little planning (not much).First the card - using silk flowers you can use all kinds of corny lines like:These flowers won't wilt and neither will my love for youEven these flowers won't last as long as my
Active Listening
Active listening is a way of communicating that creates the important climate of empathy, acceptance, and understanding.
• It is a two-step response to a statement made by your partner.
• It includes reflecting back what emotion you detected in the statement, and the reason for the emotion. This is what active listening sounds like: “Sounds like you’re upset about what happened at work.”
“You’re very annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?”
Why Active Listening Is a Valuable Skill
Active listening is a valuable skill because it demonstrates that you understand what your partner is saying and how he or she is feeling about it.
• Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said.
• It’s a check on whether your understanding is correct.
• It demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned.
Actively listening does not mean agreeing with the other person. The point is to demonstrate to your partner that you intend to hear and understand his or her point of view. This is good for your relationship for several reasons:
• When someone demonstrates that they want to understand what you are thinking and feeling, it feels good.
• It creates good feelings about the other person.
• Restating and checking understanding promotes better communication and fewer misunderstandings.
More Active Listening Examples
Here are some more examples of active listening:
“You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem.”
“It makes you angry when you find errors on Joey’s homework.”
“Sounds like you’re really worried about Wendy.”
“I get the feeling you’re awfully busy right now.”
More Communication Skills
Although our space is limited in this short newsletter, there are a few more communication skills that I must mention. These include asking open-ended questions, making summary statements to check understanding, and encouraging your partner to open up and elaborate by using neutral questions and phrases.
Open-ended questions begin with what, why, how do, or tell me.
• These questions get the other person to open up and elaborate on the topic.
• Asking these kinds of questions gets the other person involved by giving him or her a chance to tell what he or she thinks or knows.
• These questions are designed to encourage your partner to talk.
• They are useful when the other person is silent or reluctant to elaborate.
• They are also useful in dealing with negative emotions (such as anger or fear), since they help encourage the other person to vent feelings.
Summary Statements
Summary statements sum up what you hear your partner saying.
• A summary statement enhances your partner’s self-esteem by showing that you were listening carefully.
• It also helps you focus on facts, not emotions.
• It helps your partner clarify his or her own thinking by hearing your summary.
• Summary statements also help you deal with multiple disagreements so you can deal with them one by one.
• They help eliminate confusion by focusing on the relevant facts.
• Summary statements also help you separate the important issues from the trivial.
Neutral Questions and Phrases
Neutral questions and phrases get your partner to open up and elaborate on the topic you are discussing.
• These questions are more focused than open-ended questions.
• They help your partner understand what you are interested in hearing more about.
• They further communication because they help you gain more information.
• When you ask these kinds of questions, you demonstrate to your partner that you are interested and that you are listening.
Business Skills for Marriages
You might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully—planning, organizing, and setting goals—also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:
1. Create an overall vision of what you want your life to be like; consider all life areas.
2. Develop a long-range strategy.
3. Set short-term and long-term goals.
4. Plan the steps that will help you accomplish your goals.
5. Organize projects.
6. Manage projects.
7. Manage people.
8. Evaluate progr
If you are a freebie seeker, you are probably mad right now. That is OK with me. When you graduate from being a freebie-seeker and are ready to build a real business online, you might remember my name.This article is written to inspire those of you are business online to make money, as I am, to write articles geared towards creating buyers out of your subscribers, not freebie-seekers.I handle this through a variety of subtle and not-so-subtle methods.1) Write your articles about things buyers are interested in, not what freebie-seekers might want to learn about. For example, an article about ‘how to get started online for free’ will generally only attract people who have no money. They will read your article, subscribe to your list, and
• When someone demonstrates that they want to understand what you are thinking and feeling, it feels good.
• It creates good feelings about the other person.
• Restating and checking understanding promotes better communication and fewer misunderstandings.
More Active Listening Examples
Here are some more examples of active listening:
“You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem.”
“It makes you angry when you find errors on Joey’s homework.”
“Sounds like you’re really worried about Wendy.”
“I get the feeling you’re awfully busy right now.”
More Communication Skills
Although our space is limited in this short newsletter, there are a few more communication skills that I must mention. These include asking open-ended questions, making summary statements to check understanding, and encouraging your partner to open up and elaborate by using neutral questions and phrases.
Open-ended questions begin with what, why, how do, or tell me.
• These questions get the other person to open up and elaborate on the topic.
• Asking these kinds of questions gets the other person involved by giving him or her a chance to tell what he or she thinks or knows.
• These questions are designed to encourage your partner to talk.
• They are useful when the other person is silent or reluctant to elaborate.
• They are also useful in dealing with negative emotions (such as anger or fear), since they help encourage the other person to vent feelings.
Summary Statements
Summary statements sum up what you hear your partner saying.
• A summary statement enhances your partner’s self-esteem by showing that you were listening carefully.
• It also helps you focus on facts, not emotions.
• It helps your partner clarify his or her own thinking by hearing your summary.
• Summary statements also help you deal with multiple disagreements so you can deal with them one by one.
• They help eliminate confusion by focusing on the relevant facts.
• Summary statements also help you separate the important issues from the trivial.
Neutral Questions and Phrases
Neutral questions and phrases get your partner to open up and elaborate on the topic you are discussing.
• These questions are more focused than open-ended questions.
• They help your partner understand what you are interested in hearing more about.
• They further communication because they help you gain more information.
• When you ask these kinds of questions, you demonstrate to your partner that you are interested and that you are listening.
Business Skills for Marriages
You might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully—planning, organizing, and setting goals—also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:
1. Create an overall vision of what you want your life to be like; consider all life areas.
2. Develop a long-range strategy.
3. Set short-term and long-term goals.
4. Plan the steps that will help you accomplish your goals.
5. Organize projects.
6. Manage projects.
7. Manage people.
8. Evaluate progr
White House Deputy Chief-of-Staff Karl Rove has errantly calculated that the alleged pre-9/11 national security mentality of Congressional Democrats is going to pay off for the Republicans during the up-coming 2006 congressional elections. Rove presumes that the majority of the Republicans, Democrats, and independents, who routinely vote in House and Senate elections, will favor the almost fascist approach to national security that has been espoused by the Bush Administration since October 2001. He seems to believe that most voting Americans will reflect the Republican mindset at the ballot box. I, on the other hand, believe that quite a few Republican senators and representatives are going to be out of a job come November. For how, in the name of sophistry,
• Asking these kinds of questions gets the other person involved by giving him or her a chance to tell what he or she thinks or knows.
• These questions are designed to encourage your partner to talk.
• They are useful when the other person is silent or reluctant to elaborate.
• They are also useful in dealing with negative emotions (such as anger or fear), since they help encourage the other person to vent feelings.
Summary Statements
Summary statements sum up what you hear your partner saying.
• A summary statement enhances your partner’s self-esteem by showing that you were listening carefully.
• It also helps you focus on facts, not emotions.
• It helps your partner clarify his or her own thinking by hearing your summary.
• Summary statements also help you deal with multiple disagreements so you can deal with them one by one.
• They help eliminate confusion by focusing on the relevant facts.
• Summary statements also help you separate the important issues from the trivial.
Neutral Questions and Phrases
Neutral questions and phrases get your partner to open up and elaborate on the topic you are discussing.
• These questions are more focused than open-ended questions.
• They help your partner understand what you are interested in hearing more about.
• They further communication because they help you gain more information.
• When you ask these kinds of questions, you demonstrate to your partner that you are interested and that you are listening.
Business Skills for Marriages
You might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully—planning, organizing, and setting goals—also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:
1. Create an overall vision of what you want your life to be like; consider all life areas.
2. Develop a long-range strategy.
3. Set short-term and long-term goals.
4. Plan the steps that will help you accomplish your goals.
5. Organize projects.
6. Manage projects.
7. Manage people.
8. Evaluate progr
Flirting with the opposite sex can be a lot of fun for both you and your intended partner. It is a way to break the ice when just meeting a new interest. Little innuendos can be a lot of fun and you can say a lot without being crude. Done right, flirting gets people interested in each other without the stumbling for words.Flirting can be learned very easily. It just takes a little practice to become adept and not make it look like you are trying too hard. This is very important. Woman love the art of flirting and most are quite good at it. Men sometimes appear that they are trying too hard. Just be casual with it and let the conversation flow smoothly.It is very important to first make eye contact. Just a little light glance will do. Staring your pa
• These questions are more focused than open-ended questions.
• They help your partner understand what you are interested in hearing more about.
• They further communication because they help you gain more information.
• When you ask these kinds of questions, you demonstrate to your partner that you are interested and that you are listening.
Business Skills for Marriages
You might be surprised to hear that the same skills that help people succeed in business can also be used to build a better marriage. Like any business, a marriage is a partnership of people. Many of the skills that make businesses run successfully—planning, organizing, and setting goals—also can be applied to running your marriage successfully. These are some of the skills that will strengthen any marriage:
1. Create an overall vision of what you want your life to be like; consider all life areas.
2. Develop a long-range strategy.
3. Set short-term and long-term goals.
4. Plan the steps that will help you accomplish your goals.
5. Organize projects.
6. Manage projects.
7. Manage people.
8. Evaluate progress and results at regular intervals.
9. Revise goals as needed.
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