Digg it UP - Relationships

Internet Mortgage Leads
If you are a loan officer, you may be considering purchasing internet mortgage leads. But you may be leery of whom to buy them from and the type of lead you should buy.There are many internet mortgage lead companies out there, and they sell all kinds of lead types.Such as, real time, live transfer, recycled, and lets face it, a lot of these companies sell junk.For this reason alone, it is important to take your time and research the internet mortgage lead companies you are considering investing with.For starters, read what they propose to loan officers on their web sites, especially what their return policy states.Once you have read and familiarized yourself with their site, call and speak with someone in their customer service department. Ask about the things you believe are important when it comes to the leads. Such as, how they generate the leads, are they fresh or old and recycled, what is their pricing, and ask about their return policy.If you are unable to contact anyone in customer service, or you are not getting crystal clear answers to your questions, than move onto the next internet mortgage lead company.If you are not satisfied with the customer service you are receivi

· Develop a custom sexual addiction sobriety contract to clarify what your ongoing sobriety is going to look like with specific target behaviors and “battle plans” for dealing with violations and triggers for acting-out.

There are a multitude of other strategies and techniques that are best addressed with the assistance of a therapist. To locate a sexual addiction-therapist, visit The Society for The Advancement of Sexual Health’s website for possible linkage/referrals in your area at at www.ncsac.org/members/resources_main.aspx .

Resources & Conclusion

With effective treatment, motivation for change, and a solid support system, freedom from sexual addiction can be yours! Make healthy sexuality your primary goal and really define what that means to you. The following is a list of recommended resources and readings on this very complex topic!

· Article Reference: Dr. Paul Simpson, Ed.D. Class notes from his presentation “Treating Compulsive Sexual Behaviors.” Visit his site at www.sexstruggles.com . He conducts national seminars to the public on sexual compulsivity and also provides sex addiction treatment at his group practice.

· Article Reference: Dr. Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. The sex addiction research guru! Visit his site at www.sexhelp.com and read his groundbreaking book “Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual & Relationship Recovery” as well as his other series of self-help books on sex and Internet addiction.

· For linkage to a nearby Twelve-Step sex addiction support group, visit such sites as Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (www.sca-recovery.org) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (www.sexaa.org) .

· An excellent book on

How to Be Customer Unfriendly
One of my favorite airlines committed a customer interface blunder. They changed the automated telephone menu system for reservations, removed the 24-hour fast-access option for frequent flyers, set up the menu so it changes at various times of the day, and put long recorded messages on the system to ‘educate’ passengers while they wait.I’ve called this airline many times. My fingers know which buttons to push to get what I need without delay. Now my fingers are lost and my ears are listening to long messages. I am still trying to figure out which menu works at which time of day and which buttons I need to push.A similar experience took place when WordPerfect introduced ‘WordPerfect for Windows’ and all the function keys were changed. Long ago, WordPerfect was the word-processing program of choice.But overnight my loyalty to WordPerfect evaporated. As long as I had to re-learn a whole new set of keystrokes, I might as well learn Microsoft Word. And what happened to WordPerfect? Massive decline in market share. (We all know what’s happening with Microsoft Word, now dominating the word processing arena.)Key Learning Point ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Introduction

When managed in a healthy way, an active sex life can be one of life’s greatest gifts. Having been raised in an oppressive society about our homosexuality, sex can take on different meanings for gay men. Whether or not you believe the stereotype of gay men being promiscuous and “sex-starved”, the real truth is that when sex is taken to the extreme and it begins to interfere with your life and the accomplishment of your goals, damaging consequences can result that can destroy your future.

This article comes off the heels of my attendance at a recent professional workshop on treating compulsive sexual behaviors. It was an excellent investigation into the world of sexual addiction and was presented by Arizona-based therapist Paul Simpson, Ed.D. A lot of his presentation is mirrored by the work of Dr. Patrick Carnes, PhD, the pioneer of sexual addiction research and reputable author of a series of classic self-help books on sexual addiction treatment. Here is some useful information on sexual compulsivity and resources for recovery.

Am I Addicted To Sex?

When sex begins to interfere with your daily life, becomes a preoccupation to where you’re distracted from life tasks, or if sex controls your behavior instead of you “being in the driver’s seat”, these are all indicators that there may be a addiction at play. Additional factors cited by Simpson include loss of boundaries and having sex with less discrimination and discernment, sexual activities becoming increasingly risky, continued acting-out despite physical/financial/emotional costs, sexual obsession, loss of time and energy, and neglect of self-care and important responsibilities. Increasing powerlessness and unmanageability are the hallmarks of a developing sexual addiction.

Have you ever wondered if your sexual behavior is problematic? Just like with any addiction, denial can minimize the seriousness of your situation and “conveniently” block from awareness the reality of what’s truly going on. It can be easy to get swept up in the myth that to be gay means to have lots of casual sex and that there’s no limits to what’s acceptable, especially with the gay culture being sexualized by the media and the community itself at times. This is not to pathologize sexual freedom or to condemn those who are liberal with their sexual behavior; it merely points to the importance of establishing a definition of what constitutes healthy sexuality and responsibility to avoid negative repercussions for it’s potential mishandling. The Gay Men Sexual Addiction Screening Test is an assessment tool to help you evaluate your sexual activity. Go to the following site and complete the survey and see how you score: www.sexhelp.com/gsast.cfm. Use the results from this information to gauge any possible “red flags” in your current sexual behavior.

Why We Get Addicted

All behavior is purposeful. Everything we do has meaning and is intended to meet some kind of need, goal, or result. The origins of sexual addiction are unique to each individual and span biological and psychological motivations. The following are some underlying causes that may drive a person to act-out sexually, according to Simpson.

· Excitement: the need to experience an adrenaline rush, super-charged by risk and novelty.

· Comfort: sex as a way to cope with stress and bring about relief and relaxation; may also be a way to reward oneself for a positive accomplishment.

· Escape: a need to enter a trance-like state to avoid feelings; can be a disinhibitor and cause one to do things normally resisted.

· Affirmation: sex as a way to feel valued and validated; can act as a self-esteem boost and meets a need for wanting to be wanted and to matter.

· Helplessness: as a way to confirm a core belief that one has about believing he is defective and inferior.

· Power: sex as a way to fill psychological voids using dominance and control over another.

· Revenge: anger becomes eroticized and psychological wounds are acted-out.

If you have issues with sexual compulsivity, what unmet needs drive your sexual acting-out? It’s important to pinpoint your motives so that these needs can be addressed and met in more healthy ways. What hurts? What’s missing in your life? How does your sexuality manifest itself?

Getting A Handle On Your Impulses

Sexual addiction is not something that you can typically overcome by reading a book or through sheer willpower. This problem is powerful and causes significant distress and pain to the person struggling with it, as well as his loved ones and those affiliated with him. Working with a trained licensed therapist who specializes in sexual addiction is critical, as well as some form of group therapy or attendance in a Sex Addicts Anonymous support group. For some individuals, medication is needed and primary or secondary mental health issues and other addictions may need treatment as well. If you are struggling with sexual compulsivity, get help NOW before you become too trapped in the downward spiral. Treatment can be a long and challenging road and you will need lots of support and encouragement.

The following are some treatment-oriented suggestions from Simpson’s lecture that can help in overcoming sexual addiction. These are not intended as a substitute for therapy and it is highly recommended that you work with a therapist as you implement these strategies for maximum effectiveness and monitoring.

· Read books on sexual addiction for education. Look in the resources section of this article for recommended readings.

· Become adept at catching self-defeating thoughts and defeating them with cognitive restructuring techniques.

· Identify your triggers to acting-out and develop plans for dealing with these high-risk situations and feelings.

· Practice thought-stoppage techniques to retrain your mind in the use of healthy sexual cognitions.

· Explore ways to bring more healthy aliveness to your life. Find ways to bring more meaning and purpose to your existence and enhance your self-esteem. Build your support network and bring about more balance in all the areas of your life.

· Sexual acting-out can sometimes take on predictable patterns of execution. Learn to identify your “chain reactions” and reconstruct healthier rituals to avoid re-enacting unhealthy sexual behavior.

· Make a list of all the consequences your sexual addiction has or could bring to your life. Make another list of all the benefits recovery can bring to you. Keep these lists with you at all times to take out as reference when you have impulses to act-out as a way to deter from following through with them.

Resources & Conclusion

· For linkage to a nearby Twelve-Step sex addiction support group, visit such sites as Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (www.sca-recovery.org) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (www.sexaa.org) .

· An excellent book on

Property Loans - For Greater Flexibility And Freedom
Each one of us needs money at one or the other time in our life. You may wish to buy a new home. One can fulfill his or her personal desires by withdrawing money from the savings account. But, do you think it is right to withdraw the savings when an efficient alternative is available that is taking a loan from the loan market. You can use the savings in future when some emergency occur. Now, the question arise that which loan to choose from the infinite number of loans existing in the market. If you own a property or want to buy one, Property loan will be the perfect option for you.Property loans are secured against a property. Property put as collateral can be a residential or a commercial property. The loan providers grant more flexibility to the borrower and freedom to use the money as they wish. A borrower can use a property loan to buy a new car or to pay for much needed home improvements.Property loans offer borrowers the opportunity to enjoy the benefit of flexible repayment option, low interest rate and a longer repayment term. Property loans are available with the term facility of up to 10 years. The rate of interest on a property loan is low as it is a secured loan.It accounts for a low monthly installmen

ilities. Increasing powerlessness and unmanageability are the hallmarks of a developing sexual addiction.

Why We Get Addicted

· Excitement: the need to experience an adrenaline rush, super-charged by risk and novelty.

· Comfort: sex as a way to cope with stress and bring about relief and relaxation; may also be a way to reward oneself for a positive accomplishment.

· Escape: a need to enter a trance-like state to avoid feelings; can be a disinhibitor and cause one to do things normally resisted.

· Affirmation: sex as a way to feel valued and validated; can act as a self-esteem boost and meets a need for wanting to be wanted and to matter.

· Helplessness: as a way to confirm a core belief that one has about believing he is defective and inferior.

· Power: sex as a way to fill psychological voids using dominance and control over another.

· Revenge: anger becomes eroticized and psychological wounds are acted-out.

Getting A Handle On Your Impulses

· Read books on sexual addiction for education. Look in the resources section of this article for recommended readings.

· Become adept at catching self-defeating thoughts and defeating them with cognitive restructuring techniques.

· Identify your triggers to acting-out and develop plans for dealing with these high-risk situations and feelings.

· Practice thought-stoppage techniques to retrain your mind in the use of healthy sexual cognitions.

Resources & Conclusion

· For linkage to a nearby Twelve-Step sex addiction support group, visit such sites as Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (www.sca-recovery.org) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (www.sexaa.org) .

· An excellent book on

Applying For Credit Cards Online
More and more people are applying for credit cards online. With the plethora of different means for which you can apply for your desired card, companies really try to make it easy for you to apply for their credit card. Along with online auctions, and shopping, signing up for credit cards, loans and insurance has been one of the fastest growing commercial activities on the net. Part of the reason is the speed and convenience of doing so. Another part of the reason is that you can find out the offers of a huge number of providers all at one place and judge which is the best very easily.Applying for credit cards online can be an extremely simple process. Most credit card providers have websites that give you all of the necessary information to make your decision. If you are looking for a credit card, all you need do is visit their site and judge for yourself if the terms are acceptable. You have access to a huge number of card providers online so if you want to shop around it couldn’t be easier. There are even websites that specialise in comparing different rates and different categories of card which make your selection process even easier. For example, if you want a credit card that provides a good balance transfer rate,

tress and bring about relief and relaxation; may also be a way to reward oneself for a positive accomplishment.

· Escape: a need to enter a trance-like state to avoid feelings; can be a disinhibitor and cause one to do things normally resisted.

· Affirmation: sex as a way to feel valued and validated; can act as a self-esteem boost and meets a need for wanting to be wanted and to matter.

· Helplessness: as a way to confirm a core belief that one has about believing he is defective and inferior.

· Power: sex as a way to fill psychological voids using dominance and control over another.

· Revenge: anger becomes eroticized and psychological wounds are acted-out.

Getting A Handle On Your Impulses

· Read books on sexual addiction for education. Look in the resources section of this article for recommended readings.

· Become adept at catching self-defeating thoughts and defeating them with cognitive restructuring techniques.

· Identify your triggers to acting-out and develop plans for dealing with these high-risk situations and feelings.

· Practice thought-stoppage techniques to retrain your mind in the use of healthy sexual cognitions.

Resources & Conclusion

· For linkage to a nearby Twelve-Step sex addiction support group, visit such sites as Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (www.sca-recovery.org) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (www.sexaa.org) .

· An excellent book on

Women's Cheap Car Insurance
As sexist as it may sound, gender sometimes place a significant role in a person’s car insurance rates. Women drivers usually get cheaper car insurance rates than men drivers, because statistically, of the two genders, women drivers are more conscientious drivers, who drive safer vehicles, and who file less car insurance claims. Sure, not all women drivers are better drivers than men drivers, but the statistics have spoken loud enough for many of the car insurance companies in America to listen.However, American car insurance companies are not the only companies that have taken notice and began to offer cheap car insurance policies to women drivers; the UK is also offering lower car insurance rates to women drivers. There are many companies and organizations throughout the UK dedicated solely to helping women get cheap car insurance rates, as well as providing car insurance tips and advice to women drivers. A quick search of the Internet will bring up many of these organizations.Of course, while women drivers may statistically get lower car insurance rates than men drivers, women drivers are subject to the same criteria as men are subject to, such as:• Driving records and histories of the driver and/or p

you become too trapped in the downward spiral. Treatment can be a long and challenging road and you will need lots of support and encouragement.

· Read books on sexual addiction for education. Look in the resources section of this article for recommended readings.

· Become adept at catching self-defeating thoughts and defeating them with cognitive restructuring techniques.

· Identify your triggers to acting-out and develop plans for dealing with these high-risk situations and feelings.

· Practice thought-stoppage techniques to retrain your mind in the use of healthy sexual cognitions.

Resources & Conclusion

· For linkage to a nearby Twelve-Step sex addiction support group, visit such sites as Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (www.sca-recovery.org) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (www.sexaa.org) .

· An excellent book on

How to Save Thousands on Credit Card Interest Payments
According to cardweb.com, the average American family owes over $8,000 in credit card debt. This can lead to thousands of dollars in interest paid each year to credit card companies.One strategy for lowering interest payments is to transferring credit card balances to a lower interest rate. If you had $8,000 in credit card debt, and you made a minimum monthly payment of 2% with an 18% APR, it would take you 647 months to pay it off, and you would have paid $22,931 in interest. If you lower the rate to 10% APR on that same balance of $8,000, and make the minimum monthly payment of 2%, you would pay the balance off in 302 months, with total interest paid being $5,506.63, and a total savings of over $17,000. But, if you were to transfer that $8,000 balance to a 0% APR, you would have the balance paid off in only 188 months, and save yourself $22,931! You'd be saving enough for a new car!Here are a few things to consider when transferring your balances:* Credit card companies usually offer that introductory 0% APR for a limited time. You'll need to find out for how long, and what the terms are.* It may be benefical to call your current credit card company, and try to negotiate a lower rate. Credi

Resources & Conclusion

· For linkage to a nearby Twelve-Step sex addiction support group, visit such sites as Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (www.sca-recovery.org) and Sex Addicts Anonymous (www.sexaa.org) .

· An excellent book on sex addiction geared toward gay men that I highly recommend is “Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction In Gay Men” by Rob Weiss, MSW. It’s one of the few resources available that’s written specifically for the gay male community and is a must read!

Disclaimer: The Gay Love Coach does not represent or endorse the quality of any products, referral services, information, or materials displayed, purchased, or obtained by you as a result of its mention in this article. It’s common sense to do your own due diligence before purchasing a product.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? This article can be reprinted freely online, as long as the entire article and this resource box are included:

Brian Rzepczynski, Certified Personal Life Coach, is The Gay Love Coach: “I work with gay men who are ready to create a road map that will lead them to find and build a lasting partnership with Mr. Right.” To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs, and teleclasses, please visit http://www.TheGayLoveCoach.com

Please also include with the article the words © Copyright and prominently display a link to our main page at the end of the article. Any feedback would be appreciated and can be sent to brian@thegaylovecoach.com. Thank you!

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