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ruth of it, and that was that I'd invited Dee to be my maid of honor for all the wrong reasons. I knew it, and in all fairness, I'm sure she knew it as well. How could she not?

Stories like mine are not uncommon. In fact, it's one of those things where one person will share a personal anecdote and two others chime in quickly with similar stories. It's easy to make a mistake in choosing members of your wedding party.

The truth is that choosing your wedding party should be a labor of

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Being only in my early twenties and planning my wedding, I agonized over who to choose as a maid of honor. My best friend lived in another state and she and her husband were struggling to make ends meet much as I myself was, and the thought of asking her to commit to the cost of being a part of my wedding seemed just too unfair to her. There were cousins, of course, but we really weren't close, and my high school and college friends had begun to spread far and wide.

After agonizing over the decision I finally chose to ask my college friend -- I'll call her Dee. She was the most settled of my friends. She had a good job, lived nearby in her parents' home, and she had the time and money to spare on a wedding. I thought I was making the right decision for everyone.

It didn't take long to realize that I'd made a huge mistake. Dee was one of those high maintenance friends, the kind that find it perfectly acceptable to call you late at night and drag you out of bed for a trip to the local ice cream shop because she needed to talk, even though she made it perfectly clear that you weren't to call her home after 9 pm.

The first day we went shopping for bridesmaids' dresses, we took her car because she had asthma and my car didn't have air conditioning. She picked me up. I had a number of ideas about where we should go, but she immediately laid out for me the areas she was and was not willing to drive her new car to. We altered our plans accordingly.

The day started and ended with frustrations. From complaints over parking -- having to walk in the hot sun all the way across the parking lot to the store triggered her asthma -- to general complaints about weddings and dresses and budgets and my taste, I found myself considering how best to push her into heavy traffic and make it look like an accident.

In the end, after weeks of trying to make it work, I finally found the gumption to tell Dee that it just wasn't working. In the process, I realized the truth of it, and that was that I'd invited Dee to be my maid of honor for all the wrong reasons. I knew it, and in all fairness, I'm sure she knew it as well. How could she not?

The truth is that choosing your wedding party should be a labor of l

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decision I finally chose to ask my college friend -- I'll call her Dee. She was the most settled of my friends. She had a good job, lived nearby in her parents' home, and she had the time and money to spare on a wedding. I thought I was making the right decision for everyone.

The truth is that choosing your wedding party should be a labor of

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he local ice cream shop because she needed to talk, even though she made it perfectly clear that you weren't to call her home after 9 pm.

The truth is that choosing your wedding party should be a labor of

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ed and ended with frustrations. From complaints over parking -- having to walk in the hot sun all the way across the parking lot to the store triggered her asthma -- to general complaints about weddings and dresses and budgets and my taste, I found myself considering how best to push her into heavy traffic and make it look like an accident.

The truth is that choosing your wedding party should be a labor of

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ruth of it, and that was that I'd invited Dee to be my maid of honor for all the wrong reasons. I knew it, and in all fairness, I'm sure she knew it as well. How could she not?

The truth is that choosing your wedding party should be a labor of love. Those surrounding you on your wedding day should be the people who mean the most to you. Whether it's family or friends, this is one case where practicality should not be the driving factor.

There are certainly mitigating factors that crop up. On occasions, sadly, those you choose may not be able to fulfill the obligations. Is it awkward? Sure. But at least you'll have the comfort of knowing that you followed your heart and asked the right person to stand up for you.

Sometimes, asking the wrong person results in a debacle like mine. Don't forget that it's your wedding, and though it may be awkward, in the end, if it isn't working out, you have the option of asking the person to step down. Though it can cause hard feelings and even end friendships, sometimes it's the best thing to do for all parties involved.

In the end, I asked my best friend to be my matron of honor. Though she had to give it some thought, to work out the logistics, she accepted my offer and understood why I hadn't asked her first. I was lucky.

So choose your wedding party with your heart, and you won't go wrong.

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Our senses react to the design choices we make, so choosing the wrong colors or patterns in wallpaper, fabric, or paint can negatively impact our senses. Design Psychology works, and if you’ll just take a little extra time to avoid making design mistakes, you’ll save MONEY and sell your home more quickly, both of which will have a significant effect on your bottom line when your sign the closing papers!

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