subconscious cannot distinguish fact from fiction. So if you tell your love one that they are for example, stupid, fat, or useless with money, then that person goes away and thinks about what you have just said. They mull it over and the subconscious will concentrate and focus Do you too have the ability to reverse numbers and to jumble the letters in words?

I create “spoonerisms” on a regular basis. I think my brain is sometimes disconnected from my mouth and so I come away with such statements as, “Peanut butter me the fridge” which means that the peanut butter is in the fridge…I think! This idiosyncrasy used to frustrate me. Jay, my husband would poke fun at me too. This did not go down well even though I knew his comments were not malicious. I still felt frustration. I resented his harsh words.

Then I read “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz. After reading this excellent book, I pointed out to Jay, that according to Maltz “one’s subconscious mind does not have a sense of humour”. Jay's comments even though in jest – hurt. I suggested that he please refrain from his jibes and banter? He insisted that he was only joking. And then one day Jay listened to my request…. after reading the book himself.

I strongly advise that we learn to live with our friends and family without the use of sarcasm and unkind comments. They can do untold damage. Remember our subconscious cannot distinguish fact from fiction. So if you tell your love one that they are for example, stupid, fat, or useless with money, then that person goes away and thinks about what you have just said. They mull it over and the subconscious will concentrate and focus o

the peanut butter is in the fridge…I think! This idiosyncrasy used to frustrate me. Jay, my husband would poke fun at me too. This did not go down well even though I knew his comments were not malicious. I still felt frustration. I resented his harsh words.

Then I read “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz. After reading this excellent book, I pointed out to Jay, that according to Maltz “one’s subconscious mind does not have a sense of humour”. Jay's comments even though in jest – hurt. I suggested that he please refrain from his jibes and banter? He insisted that he was only joking. And then one day Jay listened to my request…. after reading the book himself.

I strongly advise that we learn to live with our friends and family without the use of sarcasm and unkind comments. They can do untold damage. Remember our subconscious cannot distinguish fact from fiction. So if you tell your love one that they are for example, stupid, fat, or useless with money, then that person goes away and thinks about what you have just said. They mull it over and the subconscious will concentrate and focus

sycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz. After reading this excellent book, I pointed out to Jay, that according to Maltz “one’s subconscious mind does not have a sense of humour”. Jay's comments even though in jest – hurt. I suggested that he please refrain from his jibes and banter? He insisted that he was only joking. And then one day Jay listened to my request…. after reading the book himself.

I strongly advise that we learn to live with our friends and family without the use of sarcasm and unkind comments. They can do untold damage. Remember our subconscious cannot distinguish fact from fiction. So if you tell your love one that they are for example, stupid, fat, or useless with money, then that person goes away and thinks about what you have just said. They mull it over and the subconscious will concentrate and focus

r? He insisted that he was only joking. And then one day Jay listened to my request…. after reading the book himself.

I strongly advise that we learn to live with our friends and family without the use of sarcasm and unkind comments. They can do untold damage. Remember our subconscious cannot distinguish fact from fiction. So if you tell your love one that they are for example, stupid, fat, or useless with money, then that person goes away and thinks about what you have just said. They mull it over and the subconscious will concentrate and focus

subconscious cannot distinguish fact from fiction. So if you tell your love one that they are for example, stupid, fat, or useless with money, then that person goes away and thinks about what you have just said. They mull it over and the subconscious will concentrate and focus on the comments – even if they are not true. Therefore, do not be surprised if they become stupid, fat and useless with money. Do not criticise. Do not complain. As Dale Carnegie said, "Be hearty in yours approbation and lavish in your praise."

Speak kindly and beware of getting ‘hung by your tongue!’

For my part, I now accept that my brain and mouth work at different speeds! Fortunately, it is not what we say, but how we say it that actually matters. When we speak,

• 8% of the effect of the communication is in the words which are used

• 32% the tone of the voice

• 60% the attitude

I bear these facts in mind when I feel I am not working at my most coherent. I “swish” in the statistics and remember that many many people, including the family, say this quirk is one of the things that makes me, me.

It certainly means my audiences have to listen well to understand me at times; however I continue to be a very popular keynote speaker and trainer and get many repeat bookings and referrals. The delegates can obviously identify with me and seem to have a lot of fun.