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Digg it UP - More Courageous Tact, Less Hostility: 14 Things High Achievers Know About Sharing a Difficult Truth
A personal Internet presence can help when a recruiter Googles you. Not having an Internet presence can definitely hurt you when a recruiter Googles you. That said, it is an unfortunate reality that very few job seekers understand how to approach recruiters effectively.Even though you don't want to have your job search strategy rest solely on approaching recruiters, many job seekers inadvertently shoot themselves in the head because they don't know how to effectively approach recruiters.Many people don't even understand what a recruiter does and doesn't do, or more specifically - how they get paid. It definitely differs from country to country, but predominantly the following is true:Recruiters are - not - agents for candidates; they are agents for clients.Or alternatively:Recruiters don't find jobs for people; they find people for jobs.Approaching a recruiter and telling them you want to discuss "how we can work toge
SET YOUR INTENTIONS
What is the purpose of the conversation, what is the message you want to send, what do you want the recipient to do with the information, what behaviour on your part will support/not support your intentions, what do you need to let go of. Remember to stay grounded in your intentions throughout the conversation, particularly in the midst of discomfort or chaos.
PREPARE FOR THE CONVERSATION
Consider the underlying
Details, details, details. They usually bore us men to tears or sleep. Here are some details you won't cry or snooze over when you read them. We are asleep at the advertising and marketing switch if we ignore this freight train of information about how women think and make decisions.The five stages of the buying process:1. Deciding to buy. Women usually make the decision it's time to buy.2. Research. Women "shop" the market for possibilities, eliminating the non-contenders.3. Purchase. Women usually close the sale alone (with exception of car purchases) by making the deal.4. Maintenance. 83% of household finances are handled by women. If they don't like the attitude, treatment or "feel" of the company, they will fire the company.5. Referral. Women are much more likely to provide referrals. In insurance, over the lifetime of a customer, a woman provides on average 28 referrals, vs. 13 for men.Did you catch the word women in each
A lot of what drives my clients crazy is keeping their mouths shut – when to do it and when not onto do it, usually when the “truth”, as they see it, is screaming to be heard.
We spend time identifying what they need and want to say, how to deliver the somewhat risky message, how to cope with their fears, and how to minimize and manage fallout.
The interesting thing is they never regret speaking out, even if the outcome was not exactly as they had hoped. They end up feeling more in control and their self-esteem and cfidence goes up.
Often we steer clear of telling the truth because we wish to avoid confrontation. Yet not addressing contentious issues can have negative consequences to the business, to our relationships, and to us.
Here are 14 things High Achievers always keep in mind when sharing a difficult truth:
START BY BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Consider your motives – are they positive and productive or not? Are you telling the truth because of a need to be candid, in integrity, and to move the business or relationship forward or is it about your judgments and making the other person “wrong”?
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
It may be telling you that you don’t have enough information and should explore the issue further. Maybe it’s telling you to keep your mouth shut.
REMEMBER THAT TRUTH IS MORE OFTEN SUBJECTIVE THAN VERIFIABLE
The grass is green vs. you made a stupid mistake and therefore are an idiot. We often start the conversation assuming that we are right and the other person is wrong. In fact, there are very few absolute truths. Truth is relative to the individual and is based on their experience, socialization, etc. which will be different than yours.
The challenge is that both people may be “right” and the difficulty has arisen from conflicting perceptions, feelings, and values around the so-called “facts”.
BE COURAGEOUS, TAKE A RISK, AND PRACTICE RISK MANAGEMENT
Courage usually increases in proportion to thought and preparation. What is the cost/benefit of telling the truth? Sometimes no real purpose will be served by telling the truth as you see it. If the cost of not speaking is high, how can you contain the possible risk of sharing what you believe to be true? Doing a risk assessment is a necessary component to preparation. Discern which conversations should have a big time investment in groundwork and which do not.
SET YOUR INTENTIONS
What is the purpose of the conversation, what is the message you want to send, what do you want the recipient to do with the information, what behaviour on your part will support/not support your intentions, what do you need to let go of. Remember to stay grounded in your intentions throughout the conversation, particularly in the midst of discomfort or chaos.
PREPARE FOR THE CONVERSATION
Consider the underlying s
There are several types of protection and security available for your phone lines. If I gave you an idea of what could occur if your lines aren’t protected it would make you want to do something immediately to protect your lines. I see so many businesses every day without one ounce of phone or telecom protection and they are totally unprepared.One form of protection is securing your phone lines and services from outsiders and employees. This may seem simple but it doesn’t need to be simple for anyone to place orders to disconnect your services or to add unwanted services. Another form of protection is being in control of your telecom fees. Almost every company we review is unaware of this form of protection.Yet another form of protection is being prepared for a natural disaster or a man made disaster. Natural disasters would include a tornado, hurricane, or storm. A man made disaster would include fire, cable failures and outages, power outages, phone syst
Often we steer clear of telling the truth because we wish to avoid confrontation. Yet not addressing contentious issues can have negative consequences to the business, to our relationships, and to us.
Here are 14 things High Achievers always keep in mind when sharing a difficult truth:
START BY BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Consider your motives – are they positive and productive or not? Are you telling the truth because of a need to be candid, in integrity, and to move the business or relationship forward or is it about your judgments and making the other person “wrong”?
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
It may be telling you that you don’t have enough information and should explore the issue further. Maybe it’s telling you to keep your mouth shut.
REMEMBER THAT TRUTH IS MORE OFTEN SUBJECTIVE THAN VERIFIABLE
The grass is green vs. you made a stupid mistake and therefore are an idiot. We often start the conversation assuming that we are right and the other person is wrong. In fact, there are very few absolute truths. Truth is relative to the individual and is based on their experience, socialization, etc. which will be different than yours.
The challenge is that both people may be “right” and the difficulty has arisen from conflicting perceptions, feelings, and values around the so-called “facts”.
BE COURAGEOUS, TAKE A RISK, AND PRACTICE RISK MANAGEMENT
Courage usually increases in proportion to thought and preparation. What is the cost/benefit of telling the truth? Sometimes no real purpose will be served by telling the truth as you see it. If the cost of not speaking is high, how can you contain the possible risk of sharing what you believe to be true? Doing a risk assessment is a necessary component to preparation. Discern which conversations should have a big time investment in groundwork and which do not.
SET YOUR INTENTIONS
What is the purpose of the conversation, what is the message you want to send, what do you want the recipient to do with the information, what behaviour on your part will support/not support your intentions, what do you need to let go of. Remember to stay grounded in your intentions throughout the conversation, particularly in the midst of discomfort or chaos.
PREPARE FOR THE CONVERSATION
Consider the underlying
Are you a production oriented sales manager or a development oriented sales manager?Production oriented sales managers tend to concentrate on doing whatever it takes to hit the numbers. Driven by sales goals and benchmarks, they often get the results at the expense of developing their salespeople. Development oriented sales managers on the other hand tend to focus on the fundamentals and teaching their salespeople how to do the job, confident that the numbers will naturally follow.Both types of sales managers can bring in the numbers, but managers who concentrate strictly on making their sales goals will always have to work harder than those that are development focused. This is because they are not developing their sales people with the ability and sales skills to leverage themselves.Production focused sales managers are commonly overlooked for promotions because the production oriented sales manager ends up driving the sales in an organization and is rea
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
It may be telling you that you don’t have enough information and should explore the issue further. Maybe it’s telling you to keep your mouth shut.
REMEMBER THAT TRUTH IS MORE OFTEN SUBJECTIVE THAN VERIFIABLE
The grass is green vs. you made a stupid mistake and therefore are an idiot. We often start the conversation assuming that we are right and the other person is wrong. In fact, there are very few absolute truths. Truth is relative to the individual and is based on their experience, socialization, etc. which will be different than yours.
The challenge is that both people may be “right” and the difficulty has arisen from conflicting perceptions, feelings, and values around the so-called “facts”.
BE COURAGEOUS, TAKE A RISK, AND PRACTICE RISK MANAGEMENT
Courage usually increases in proportion to thought and preparation. What is the cost/benefit of telling the truth? Sometimes no real purpose will be served by telling the truth as you see it. If the cost of not speaking is high, how can you contain the possible risk of sharing what you believe to be true? Doing a risk assessment is a necessary component to preparation. Discern which conversations should have a big time investment in groundwork and which do not.
SET YOUR INTENTIONS
What is the purpose of the conversation, what is the message you want to send, what do you want the recipient to do with the information, what behaviour on your part will support/not support your intentions, what do you need to let go of. Remember to stay grounded in your intentions throughout the conversation, particularly in the midst of discomfort or chaos.
PREPARE FOR THE CONVERSATION
Consider the underlying
In a nutshell RSS allows you to receive information from sites such as News or Job Boards without having to visit those sites each time you want an update. Not all web sites currently provide XML or RSS, but it is growing rapidly in popularity and many Job Sites and Career Boards do provide it.What does it look like?RSS is really just a standardized form of data based on XML. The data itself is processed by an RSS Reader or Aggregator into a human readable format. The real power of RSS aggregation is you can have all the feeds sent to one location. You can save a huge amount of time job hunting by sending all your favorite Job board feeds to one place.What software do I need to use RSS?In general, the first thing you need is something called an RSS Reader or Aggregator. There are many different versions, some of which are accessed using a browser, and some of which are downloadable applications. All allow you to display and subscr
The challenge is that both people may be “right” and the difficulty has arisen from conflicting perceptions, feelings, and values around the so-called “facts”.
BE COURAGEOUS, TAKE A RISK, AND PRACTICE RISK MANAGEMENT
Courage usually increases in proportion to thought and preparation. What is the cost/benefit of telling the truth? Sometimes no real purpose will be served by telling the truth as you see it. If the cost of not speaking is high, how can you contain the possible risk of sharing what you believe to be true? Doing a risk assessment is a necessary component to preparation. Discern which conversations should have a big time investment in groundwork and which do not.
SET YOUR INTENTIONS
What is the purpose of the conversation, what is the message you want to send, what do you want the recipient to do with the information, what behaviour on your part will support/not support your intentions, what do you need to let go of. Remember to stay grounded in your intentions throughout the conversation, particularly in the midst of discomfort or chaos.
PREPARE FOR THE CONVERSATION
Consider the underlying
Believe it or not, a lot of companies - both small and big - create their marketing program towards a specific audience. This niche audience is carefully selected and pinpointed to market segments to specifically maximize the program’s effectiveness.Take for instance one company called HP or Hewlett Packard. This particular company markets and sells machines that are able to do everything, from scanning to faxing, printing, etc.The target of this company are those home offices as well as much larger companies and businesses. For this market, their products are those whose price range are a bit higher.The fact of the matter is that a marketing specified to a particular niche market is very cost-effective. Think about it, offering a service or a product to a selected group of people in a specific area almost certainly certifies it being bought.Advertising on the radio for a specific ethnic audience whose rates are a lot lower compared to mainstrea
SET YOUR INTENTIONS
What is the purpose of the conversation, what is the message you want to send, what do you want the recipient to do with the information, what behaviour on your part will support/not support your intentions, what do you need to let go of. Remember to stay grounded in your intentions throughout the conversation, particularly in the midst of discomfort or chaos.
PREPARE FOR THE CONVERSATION
Consider the underlying source of the issue (e.g. work climate and culture), as well as the symptom (e.g. the other person’s behaviour). Are there specific examples that illustrate what you’re talking about? Plan to remove judgments from your description and point of view. Tell the truth as you see it as objectively as possible and without interpretation.
Get help with tough messages. Practice or role-play in advance with a skilled, trusted, advisor who can also help you see more clearly how your behaviour might get in the way. Under what circumstances do you get emotionally triggered and what is the best way for you to handle it – listen, ask questions, wait until you can be more rational, disengage?
CREATE CONNECTION
Is there a relationship of trust or suspicion as the backdrop to your message? If possible, create a moment of connection, rapport, or common ground rather than going straight to the “truth”.
SET THE CONTEXT
Clearly identify the issue, from your perspective. Why is this conversation important? What’s at stake? Identify your wish to understand what’s happening from the other’s perspective and sincere desire to resolve the issue.
TAILOR YOUR MESSAGE TO YOUR AUDIENCE
Some may want all the facts. With these people, you may choose to appeal to reason and use data and examples, even lining up experts or third party support for the truth as you see it. Others may want to have the executive summary or the bottom line – what does this mean to me. Still others will want to feel that you are looking out for them and have their best interests at heart, regardless of the message.
ANTICIPATE AND OBSERVE THE IMPACT OF YOUR ACTIONS AND WORDS
Remember, the medium (you) is also the message. Take full responsibility for how you are heard.
If you were standing in the recipient’s shoes, how would you feel? Watch your language – is it constructive and focused on the issue or opportunity or are you speaking in a snide, judgmental manner and making it personal? You may be emotionally triggered, but put a rope around it.
Remember that up to 90% of communication is visual. Your listeners are watching to be sure that your body language matches what you are saying.
AVOID BEING RIGID AND FIND COMMON GROUND
Highlight areas of agreement, common values, and shared needs. If possible, articulate a new possibility that arises from t
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