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  • Digg it UP - Working for Corporate Aliens

    People Knowledge Your Number One Asset - Sales Training Volume 1
    No matter what you are selling in today’s market place you will undoubtedly come across many different types of people. They will have varying backgrounds and come from all walks of life. Until you truly understand how to delve into each customers psyche your successes will be limited.One of the biggest misconceptions in selling today is that product knowledge is your best asset. Now I must tell that I am not saying you do not need to know your product but if product knowledge is all you rely on and you first haven’t leaned your people skills you are going to be very disappointed with your paychecks.I will give you an example and I’m sure many of you have had similar expe
    your supervisor, never quit. Force him or her to fire you. To really express yourself use the immortal words of Clint Eastwood: "Go ahead make my day." When you get fired, you may be able to collect Unemployment Compensation if you make the right plea. It is also easier to take legal action against your former employer if you got fired unjustly. Some states are considered "employment at will" states. There the employer does not require a reason for terminating you. Because of Federal law, you can always seek legal recourse if you were discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, sex, age, etc. Being dismissed as retaliation for asserting your rights is also not allowed. This is why you have to start documenting everything that goes on as soon as your employer starts pressuring you. Take copies of your documentation home. If they let you go, you may be forced to leave in a hurry and not granted access to your files. Be able to produ
    Market Your Business with Videos - 8 Reasons Why to Use Them
    Videos are a fun, easy way to market your business. Sure, there are dozens and dozens of other marketing strategies from article writing to blogging, from press releases to podcasting. But nothing says “cool, connection, and creative” like a video.More and more businesses of all sizes are making videos about their companies. They’re not only posting them on their websites, but they’re adding them to their blogs. To gain global 24/7 visibility, videos are posted to dozens of video-sharing sites like YouTube and Google Video. And why not – it’s free, easy-to-do, and can have a significant impact, in some cases, on the traffic it drives to your website.There are many mor
    Most of us are probably making a living working for a corporate alien already. After a few months of alien rambling about the "bottom line," some of us begin to feel like we should look for employment elsewhere. Remember that the world is becoming an alien corporation and no matter where you go, you'll probably face a similar situation. So instead of sending out that resume (unless you expect to get a job with a lot more money), draw the line and make a stand. You can actually enjoy work a lot more if you fearlessly face the enemy.

    The biggest effect aliens have is the unusual amount of pressure (most of it psychological) they put on their employees, so that the health of the employees suffer. If you take them very seriously, you will ruin your health. To preserve your physical well being in a corporate environment you should:

    • Exercise before coming to work.
    • Meditate fifteen minutes daily.
    • Take antioxidant vitamins.
    • Read Dilbert.
    • Laugh at the idiot aliens instead of taking them seriously.
    • Avoid drugs and alcohol - Be clear headed even though your bosses may not be.
    • Put your boss' face on a punching bag and use it daily.

    While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your health. When they push you for results on something stupid, write a polite e-mail asking them to clarify a few things that you don't understand. Tell them that without their input, you are confused and cannot perform the task adequately. That always catches them off guard, and takes considerable time before they reply.

    What they consider as productivity is directly proportional to the number of e-mails and memos you write. They will promote someone who does nothing but write e-mails and memos all day over someone who does an excellent job but has no time to document his or her efforts.

    When you succeed praise yourself by sending an e-mail or memo to your boss and other interested parties. This is documentation that you are doing a good job. If you don't do this, no one else will record what you have done. Aliens have a tendency to only document your mistakes.

    Keep all documentation relating to any corporate alien screw ups. If they try to blame you, write an e-mail to try to shift the blame back to them.

    Consider getting a small voice recorder and take it regularly and secretly to meetings. Actions of some bosses behind closed doors can be quite revealing. If nothing else, it can provide material for numerous blog posts.

    Get to know your systems administrator. Systems administrators are responsible for system security and system monitoring. Systems administrators rigorously enforce corporate directives, but they themselves are also constantly being abused by corporate aliens. Although not revealing details, your systems administrator may warn you if your computer is being monitored or inform you if the wrong people are reading your blogs.

    Avoid going to personal sites on the internet, always have a good business reason for visiting a website. Corporate e-mail is almost always monitored, so it is better to have a hotmail account for personal use rather than using the corporate e-mail account. Even if you have hotmail, messages you send from work can be captured and read as they pass through the corporate routers. Avoid typing anything on your work computer that you don't want your supervisors to see. Get a home computer and do your personal surfing at home.

    If you have a quarrel with your supervisor, never quit. Force him or her to fire you. To really express yourself use the immortal words of Clint Eastwood: "Go ahead make my day." When you get fired, you may be able to collect Unemployment Compensation if you make the right plea. It is also easier to take legal action against your former employer if you got fired unjustly. Some states are considered "employment at will" states. There the employer does not require a reason for terminating you. Because of Federal law, you can always seek legal recourse if you were discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, sex, age, etc. Being dismissed as retaliation for asserting your rights is also not allowed. This is why you have to start documenting everything that goes on as soon as your employer starts pressuring you. Take copies of your documentation home. If they let you go, you may be forced to leave in a hurry and not granted access to your files. Be able to produc

    Three Easy Pension Plan Options for Small Businesses
    Procrastinating about setting up a pension for your small business? Don't. Some easy options let you cheaply prepare for your retirement...and let you help employees, too.Easy Option #1: Don't Forget About A Regular Old IRAHere's the first thing to consider--even though it sounds like a wimp-out: Maybe you shouldn't setup a pension plan all at for your small business. Maybe you should just use an individual retirement account, or IRA, and encourage employees to do the same.You might even specially budget bonuses for yourself and for employees that get paid at year-end when people may be thinking about tax deductions.In 2007, an individual can contribut
    >Take antioxidant vitamins.
  • Read Dilbert.
  • Laugh at the idiot aliens instead of taking them seriously.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol - Be clear headed even though your bosses may not be.
  • Put your boss' face on a punching bag and use it daily.
  • While working with aliens, learn how to have fun with memos and e-mail. The lifeblood of the modern corporation is e-mail. This is what aliens call "communication." Even corporate janitors are required to have e-mail. So be it. Learn to use it effectively, get some laughs, and preserve your health. When they push you for results on something stupid, write a polite e-mail asking them to clarify a few things that you don't understand. Tell them that without their input, you are confused and cannot perform the task adequately. That always catches them off guard, and takes considerable time before they reply.

    What they consider as productivity is directly proportional to the number of e-mails and memos you write. They will promote someone who does nothing but write e-mails and memos all day over someone who does an excellent job but has no time to document his or her efforts.

    When you succeed praise yourself by sending an e-mail or memo to your boss and other interested parties. This is documentation that you are doing a good job. If you don't do this, no one else will record what you have done. Aliens have a tendency to only document your mistakes.

    Keep all documentation relating to any corporate alien screw ups. If they try to blame you, write an e-mail to try to shift the blame back to them.

    Consider getting a small voice recorder and take it regularly and secretly to meetings. Actions of some bosses behind closed doors can be quite revealing. If nothing else, it can provide material for numerous blog posts.

    Get to know your systems administrator. Systems administrators are responsible for system security and system monitoring. Systems administrators rigorously enforce corporate directives, but they themselves are also constantly being abused by corporate aliens. Although not revealing details, your systems administrator may warn you if your computer is being monitored or inform you if the wrong people are reading your blogs.

    Avoid going to personal sites on the internet, always have a good business reason for visiting a website. Corporate e-mail is almost always monitored, so it is better to have a hotmail account for personal use rather than using the corporate e-mail account. Even if you have hotmail, messages you send from work can be captured and read as they pass through the corporate routers. Avoid typing anything on your work computer that you don't want your supervisors to see. Get a home computer and do your personal surfing at home.

    If you have a quarrel with your supervisor, never quit. Force him or her to fire you. To really express yourself use the immortal words of Clint Eastwood: "Go ahead make my day." When you get fired, you may be able to collect Unemployment Compensation if you make the right plea. It is also easier to take legal action against your former employer if you got fired unjustly. Some states are considered "employment at will" states. There the employer does not require a reason for terminating you. Because of Federal law, you can always seek legal recourse if you were discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, sex, age, etc. Being dismissed as retaliation for asserting your rights is also not allowed. This is why you have to start documenting everything that goes on as soon as your employer starts pressuring you. Take copies of your documentation home. If they let you go, you may be forced to leave in a hurry and not granted access to your files. Be able to produ

    Self-Promoting Yourself into a Job
    If you’re like most people, you’ve never written a press release to call attention to a success you’ve had.And rightly so.But some of you should be sending out press releases or encouraging your company to promote things that you and your group are doing because they are significant.And most of you can be doing the next best thing to a press release:The periodic noteAn old friend of mine would mail a note to all of her friends bring them up-to-date on the things that were going on in her life, her professional successes, accomplishments and, occasionally, the frustrations. It allowed her to stay in contact with lot of people who would offer her advice,
    tivity is directly proportional to the number of e-mails and memos you write. They will promote someone who does nothing but write e-mails and memos all day over someone who does an excellent job but has no time to document his or her efforts.

    When you succeed praise yourself by sending an e-mail or memo to your boss and other interested parties. This is documentation that you are doing a good job. If you don't do this, no one else will record what you have done. Aliens have a tendency to only document your mistakes.

    Keep all documentation relating to any corporate alien screw ups. If they try to blame you, write an e-mail to try to shift the blame back to them.

    Consider getting a small voice recorder and take it regularly and secretly to meetings. Actions of some bosses behind closed doors can be quite revealing. If nothing else, it can provide material for numerous blog posts.

    Get to know your systems administrator. Systems administrators are responsible for system security and system monitoring. Systems administrators rigorously enforce corporate directives, but they themselves are also constantly being abused by corporate aliens. Although not revealing details, your systems administrator may warn you if your computer is being monitored or inform you if the wrong people are reading your blogs.

    Avoid going to personal sites on the internet, always have a good business reason for visiting a website. Corporate e-mail is almost always monitored, so it is better to have a hotmail account for personal use rather than using the corporate e-mail account. Even if you have hotmail, messages you send from work can be captured and read as they pass through the corporate routers. Avoid typing anything on your work computer that you don't want your supervisors to see. Get a home computer and do your personal surfing at home.

    If you have a quarrel with your supervisor, never quit. Force him or her to fire you. To really express yourself use the immortal words of Clint Eastwood: "Go ahead make my day." When you get fired, you may be able to collect Unemployment Compensation if you make the right plea. It is also easier to take legal action against your former employer if you got fired unjustly. Some states are considered "employment at will" states. There the employer does not require a reason for terminating you. Because of Federal law, you can always seek legal recourse if you were discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, sex, age, etc. Being dismissed as retaliation for asserting your rights is also not allowed. This is why you have to start documenting everything that goes on as soon as your employer starts pressuring you. Take copies of your documentation home. If they let you go, you may be forced to leave in a hurry and not granted access to your files. Be able to produ

    Why Nonprofits Need Strong Taglines
    Your Nonprofit's Name Alone Isn't EnoughYou've got to explain in a few words what your nonprofit does, and why it's valuable. That's the job of the tagline.Many organizations expect their names to broadcast what it is they do. Trouble is, it just doesn't happen that way very often. One reason why is that many nonprofit names sound alike. Another is that audiences frequently confuse the work of organizations focused on the same issues – think Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International.Where Your Tagline Fits InThe tagline is one of the four vital components of your branding portfolio, along with your nonprofit's logo, overal
    . Systems administrators are responsible for system security and system monitoring. Systems administrators rigorously enforce corporate directives, but they themselves are also constantly being abused by corporate aliens. Although not revealing details, your systems administrator may warn you if your computer is being monitored or inform you if the wrong people are reading your blogs.

    Avoid going to personal sites on the internet, always have a good business reason for visiting a website. Corporate e-mail is almost always monitored, so it is better to have a hotmail account for personal use rather than using the corporate e-mail account. Even if you have hotmail, messages you send from work can be captured and read as they pass through the corporate routers. Avoid typing anything on your work computer that you don't want your supervisors to see. Get a home computer and do your personal surfing at home.

    If you have a quarrel with your supervisor, never quit. Force him or her to fire you. To really express yourself use the immortal words of Clint Eastwood: "Go ahead make my day." When you get fired, you may be able to collect Unemployment Compensation if you make the right plea. It is also easier to take legal action against your former employer if you got fired unjustly. Some states are considered "employment at will" states. There the employer does not require a reason for terminating you. Because of Federal law, you can always seek legal recourse if you were discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, sex, age, etc. Being dismissed as retaliation for asserting your rights is also not allowed. This is why you have to start documenting everything that goes on as soon as your employer starts pressuring you. Take copies of your documentation home. If they let you go, you may be forced to leave in a hurry and not granted access to your files. Be able to produ

    Vocational Nursing Schools
    Nursing is a noble profession chosen by those who like working with people and who care enough about them to help them enjoy good health. A career in the field of nursing would include the professions of nurse assisting and nursing for adults and seniors as a nurse practitioner or registered nurse.People who are interested in pursuing this career need formal training. Training and certification requirements for nurses vary from state to state. Vocational nursing schools provide this type of training. Graduating and earning a degree from any of the top vocational nursing schools is the key to the choice of a vast variety of professions such as those of nurse practitioners, family
    your supervisor, never quit. Force him or her to fire you. To really express yourself use the immortal words of Clint Eastwood: "Go ahead make my day." When you get fired, you may be able to collect Unemployment Compensation if you make the right plea. It is also easier to take legal action against your former employer if you got fired unjustly. Some states are considered "employment at will" states. There the employer does not require a reason for terminating you. Because of Federal law, you can always seek legal recourse if you were discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, sex, age, etc. Being dismissed as retaliation for asserting your rights is also not allowed. This is why you have to start documenting everything that goes on as soon as your employer starts pressuring you. Take copies of your documentation home. If they let you go, you may be forced to leave in a hurry and not granted access to your files. Be able to produce good records in case you have to initiate a strong legal battle.

    If you are ever fired, learn to use government agencies and civil action groups to plead your case. The ACLU may be able to help if you pursue the discrimination angle. Don't forget, good documentation is essential for you to successfully sue the aliens.

    Remember that corporations make products or deliver services that are useful to the world around you. Your aim should be not to halt production, but to make them use common sense when dealing with the people that help create the product or service. It is my belief that bureaucracies have overused high tech to create unhealthy work environments resulting in an overly frustrated world. Through all our efforts let's bring back health and sanity to our lives.

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